Upcoming Rule Changes For Magic 2010
Posted on March 11, 2010
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By Mark Gottlieb
Special to The Magic Lampoon
Hi! As you know, this summer brings many exciting changes to Magic with the release of Magic 2010. This is the new core set, and it will forever change the way you look at core sets, think of core sets or even play with core sets.
Not only are we for the first time putting new cards in the core set (first time since Alpha, anyway!) and putting in mythic rares, we’re also making some important rule changes.
Why rule changes now? Core sets are one of the primary ways to get new players into Magic. Renaming the core set, getting away from the “Nth Edition” jargon, is only part of that effort. Another key part is the cards themselves. We want the cards to evoke a general fantasy feel. We want new players to feel like they can viscerally understand the game just by looking at the cards. New players don’t know who Crovax is, or where Koilos is. But they understand a fireball. Everyone understands an earthquake. Most people can understand the concept of a spell that pacifies an enemy. It’s this grand fantasy feel that we want to get back to.
Accordingly, you’re going to see some changes that may be shocking at first.
“Playing” a spell will be called “casting” a spell — That’s right! We’re going back to “casting” our spells! Pretty cool, huh? Some of you may be asking why. The fact is, new players are confused by the distinction between playing a spell and putting something into play. The fact is, the word “play” is just overused in Magic. We need to get away from it. Casting your spells just sounds cooler. From now on, anything we would have written as “Whenever a player plays a spell” will be written as “Whenever a player casts a spell.” This is easier for new players. We also think it’s more fun.
No more mana burn — Mana burn is a case of a lot of complexity for a very small payoff. New players have almost no way of being aware of it. Very few cards even mention mana burn at all. Seven. And one of those is from Unhinged. And two of the others only mention it in reminder text. We’ve decided that it just isn’t worth it to keep it in the game. We realize that this reduces the functionality of Spectral Searchlight. But it’s better for the game in the long run. From now on, mana just vanishes at the end of a phase.
The in-play zone will be called the battlefield — How cool is that? As part of the above “play versus in play” fix, we want to give the zone on the table a less confusing designation. Putting cards into play versus playing them created verbal gymnastics. Now, you put things onto the battlefield. Putting a creature onto the battlefield is a consequence of casting a creature spell. We think this is really fun and we hope you like the change. You’ll have a lot of fun putting Nicol Bolas onto the battlefield!
The removed-from-game zone will be called exiled or the exiled zone — The removed-from-game area has long been a problem from a rules standpoint. In order for a card to be removed from the game, it has to have been in the game. If other cards can find a card removed from the game, because the removed-from-game zone is part of the game, then why use the words “removed from the game” at all? The removed-from-game zone is part of the game! Why does Burning Wish find a card in the removed-from-game zone? Is such a card really “outside the game”? Ruleswise it’s in the game since game effects can find it! The “exiled zone” is more fun and less confusing. Swords to Plowshares will exile a creature. Neat, huh?
The library will be called the brain pan scroll room zone — This one is a little less intuitive. One of the problems we’ve had in Magic is with the flavor of the library. If spells are scrolls, how does Dream Cache draw cards? If spells are ideas or memories, how does Bribery work? How is it a “library”? There are no easy answers. Calling the library the brain pan scroll room zone solves this problem for new players. “Brain pan scroll room” makes it clear that this area might be your memories, might be a room full of scrolls, might be some buried treasure, might be a mine or any other frickin’ thing we decide on a moment’s notice as we’re making new cards.
The graveyard will be called the dead-book — This just sounds way cooler. I actually stole this from Planescape. Planescape was awesome. Do you remember it? It was this Second Edition D&D thing where you went around in the outer planes and had adventures. Everyone talked like they were from “Oliver” or something. “‘Ello, berk! Fancy I spill the dark on ‘at cutter over there? Oh, yer barmy!” and stuff like that. It was great. We liked it so much we basically copied Sigil when we made Ravnica. In Planescape, Sigil was this great big city at the center of the universe that was ruled by all these different factions. One faction handled defense, one faction took away the dead … it was so cool. Sounds familiar, right? Anyway, “dead-book.” “Oi! Put yer creature in the dead-book, berk!” This will be a lot of fun, especially for new players. Gravedigger will return a card from the dead-book! Millstone puts cards from the brain pan scroll room straight into the dead-book! It already sounds amazing.
The stack will be called the aether vortex — Face it, this is just way more flavorful. Who came up with “stack,” anyway? Sounds like something some mathematician or computer nerd would have thought of. It doesn’t sound fun and it doesn’t sound like fantasy. No one wants to bring his gargantuan kickass dragon through “the stack.” But casting it and bringing it onto the battlefield from the aether vortex — alright! Now you’re talking! From out of the aether vortex, I put Nicol Bolas onto the battlefield!
The phased-out zone will be called cloud-cuckoo land — This will have almost no effect on the game. Phasing is stupid. It didn’t have to be stupid, but the fact is, we made it way too complicated, so it’s stupid. We certainly aren’t putting any phasing cards in Magic 2010. Anyway. This will affect Time and Tide. Time and Tide will look for cards in cloud-cuckoo land and put them on the battlefield. That’s it. That’s what’s affected. If we ever try to make phasing again, shoot us.
Mark Gottlieb is the Magic: the Gathering rules manager.
- March 18, 2009
Card Of The Week – Murkfiend Liege
Posted on March 11, 2010
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This week’s card is Murkfiend Liege. Lol, whut?
Dreams Of A Black Knight
Posted on March 8, 2010
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By The Black Knight
The day will come.
A day of honor; and glory; and destiny.
The day I meet my foe on the field of battle.
He has eluded me. Where I have searched for him, he has not been found. Where I have pursued him, he has vanished. Where I have sought to block him, he has evaded.
But there will be a day. This I promise.
I will meet my rival — the White Knight — and only one of us will remain standing.
It will be glorious.
Why does he elude me so? Is he a coward? I think not. It is said that he is my equal, in every respect. It only weakens ourselves to dismiss our foes as cowardly. As I am brave, surely he must be brave. As I am strong, surely he must be strong. As I have skill in battle, surely he must have skill in battle.
And yet, as I seek to meet him on the battlefield, I am thwarted at every turn.
It is as if some mysterious force has delayed our meeting.
While destiny awaits, I have a secret to tell you.
Though he may be as brave as I, and as skilled, there is one thing he cannot know. He cannot know — I am protected.
The darkest magicks, laid upon my armor, my weapons and indeed my very soul, protect me from one such as him. He will find honor when he faces me. But he will not find victory. Victory will be mine alone.
He cannot possibly suspect the power of the darkness that enchants my very being.
Can you imagine such a fate? A foe, so strong, so skilled, and yet completely unsuspecting of the powerful enchantments that protect his enemy!
What tragic irony.
Many have said that I should fight his comrade, the Silver Knight. But he is not my eternal foe. There is no destiny in such a battle.
But against the White Knight, I shall meet destiny. I shall glimpse eternity! Our battle is fated! It is written in the stars. It must happen.
I have but to wait now. Soon — it must be soon — these two deadly enemies will meet, at last. Where he goes, I will move to block him. Where I go, so shall he. And at last, our swords shall clash.
I have but to wait.
I have but to wait …
The Black Knight, a tragic figure who forever waits to fight his ultimate battle of destiny, is a Magic Lampoon correspondent.
China Adds Angels, Ghosts, Weapons, Zombies, Animals, Foreigners And Meteors To List Of Images Not Allowed On Magic: The Gathering Cards
Posted on March 8, 2010
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Before 
After
BEIJING — The government here announced Wednesday that along with prohibited depictions of skeletons and human bones, angels, ghosts, weapons, zombies, animals, foreigners and meteors would no longer be allowed on Magic: The Gathering cards sold within China.
The list of prohibited images would also include comets, according to a government offical.
“We have not had the execution of an astronomer for failing to predict a comet for several decades,” said Xiuxiu Mao, a government spokeswoman. “We would like to continue this trend.
“Comets are very unlucky,” she said.
Wizards of the Coast will still be able to print corresponding Magic cards in Chinese, Mao said. The cards would simply be modified to meet with government standards, as is currently done with cards depicting skeletons.
“For example, the Western Angel of Despair would become Shining Patriot Worker Girl,” Mao said.
“As another example, Starstorm, if it were reprinted, would become End to Western Imperialist Hegemonism,” she said. “We thank you for cooperating.”
- March 1, 2006
Photochop – Konda’s Hot Tomato
Posted on March 7, 2010
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Photochop – Multiplayer Blast
Posted on March 7, 2010
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Card Of The Week – Rootwater Alligator
Posted on March 2, 2010
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This week’s card is Rootwater Alligator. Rootwater Alligator is now a Crocodile. That kinda sucks, because building a deck based on Gators would be 10 times cooler than building a deck based on Crocodiles.
Frat Boys Put Crap On Ayesha’s Face While She’s Asleep
Posted on March 1, 2010
Filed Under Articles, Staff | 3 Comments
PHILADELPHIA — Those frat boys who are always yelling “Whoo” and stuff announced in a news conference that they put a bunch of crap on Ayesha’s face when she fell asleep at a party at their frat late Monday night.
The leader of the frat boys, a kid who always wears a baseball cap named Curt or Brian or something like that, told reporters that the crap they put on Ayesha’s face was like “a bunch of lines and squiggles and stuff.”
“HA HA HA YEAH SHE WAS TOTALLY WASTED AND PASSED OUT, MAN, SO I GOT LIKE A LAUNDRY MARKER, AND LIKE DREW A BUNCH OF STUFF ON HER FACE,” Curt or Brian told reporters Monday.
“HA HA HA,” Curt or Brian added with an obnoxious, horselike laugh.
Reporters asked Curt or Brian or whatever his name is if the move by the fraternity wouldn’t in fact dissuade other young ladies from attending functions at the fraternity house.
“NAW, MAN, THAT AYESHA CHICK IS LIKE A GRENADE ANYWAY,” Curt or Brian told reporters. “THOSE OTHER CHICKS AREN’T GONNA LISTEN TO HER, MAN,” he said.
Photochop – Actual Zombie
Posted on February 28, 2010
Filed Under Photochops, Staff | 2 Comments
Photochop – Attack Of The Heart
Posted on February 28, 2010
Filed Under Photochops, Staff | 1 Comment
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