Evincar Mirri Ransacks Skyshroud In Search For Chicken, Liver

RATH — Alternate-universe Evincar Mirri the Cursed sent troops into Skyshroud late Sunday, interrogating rebels in a search for any hidden caches of liver or chicken.
“Find it! Find their chicken and liver! I demand that you deliver it unto me,” the evincar demanded of her subjects Sunday evening.
“Seize it,” she added. “Seize it all.”
The evincar [...]

Card of the Week – Swamp

This week’s card is Swamp. This fabulous Lorwyn Swamp is the location of an important pride parade each year.

Terrorist Threatens Creatures, Faces

By May Contain Peanuts
RENTON, Wash. — In tapes released Thursday, a leader of a terrorist organization declares that America’s creatures and faces are not safe.
Claiming to be the “king” of terrorist organization “Your Mom,” the individual on the tape threatens to use the organization’s burn deck to attack America, America’s creatures and the faces of Americans.
The [...]

Crazy Wizards Of The Coast Chimp Hits ‘Reprint’ Button Over And Over

Crackers, the Wizards of the Coast chimp.
RENTON, Wash. — There was trouble at Wizards of the Coast on Saturday as Crackers, the company’s beloved pet chimp, pressed a “reprint” button over and over at the company’s headquarters.
The result was thousands and thousands of copies of cards such as Squire and War Barge being printed [...]

Pro MTG Online

The wonderful Web comic Pro MTG Online has been updated for your viewing pleasure!
Check it out now!

New Bizarro Precons To Feature Bizarroduals

BIZARRO RENTON, Bizzaro Wash. — Bizarro Wizards of the Coast official Bizarro Mark Rosewater revealed Wednesday that each of the new bizarro precons for the forthcoming set Bizarro Ravnica would feature a corresponding bizarrodual land.
“By put duals in precon, me sell precon instead of boosters, and so me make less money!” Bizarro Rosewater said.
“Less money [...]

Photochop – Sheepnapper

Flying Ninja Killed By Own Caltrops

KAMIGAWA — In a move that some observers called the grossest display of complete incompetence they had ever seen, a local ninja involved in a border raid was killed by his own caltrops late Sunday evening.
Even more amazing to many witnesses, the unnamed ninja was flying at the time, local officials said.
“If you had told [...]

Card of the Week – Arcane Laboratory

This week’s card is Arcane Lab. This particular laboratory was notorious for not getting very much done each day.

Operation: Humiliate Players Enters Fifth Groundbreaking Year

RENTON, Wash. — Seeking to challenge itself after creating Pro Player cards, Operation: Humiliate Players said Thursday its new flash advertisement is the next big thing in embarrassing Magic players.
A new advertisement features a young man who is “king of your mom” and who likes “hanging out with [his] friends, just not at [his] house.”
These and other lines [...]

Physics Makes Anthony Alongi Want To Punch Next Nerd He Sees

Originally ran Sept. 14, 2006
RENTON, Wash. — Magic: The Gathering writer Anthony Alongi announced in a column Tuesday that physics and its complex equations make him want to punch the next nerd he sees.
“You know what? This is the kind of crap that makes me want to punch the next guy I see wearing a [...]

Man At Prerelease Plays Best Game Of Life Against 8-Year-Old

Originally ran Sept. 25, 2005
PHILADELPHIA — A local man announced Saturday while playing in the Ravnica prerelease sealed deck tournament that he had just played the best game of his life against an area 8-year-old.
Quincy Loftus of Philadelphia said that his game against elementary school student Bobby Green featured some of the most amazing play [...]

Complete Lorwyn Spoiler

Originally posted Aug. 26, 2007 
Yes! We have the Complete Lorwyn Spoiler. This exciting new set features powerful planeswalkers and tribes battling for supremacy in an enchanted land. Check it out!
Complete Lorwyn Spoiler

Photochop – I’m Going To Get You!!!

keep looking »