There Goes The Neighborhood

Posted on March 27, 2009
Filed Under Articles, Staff | 2 Comments


By a Knight-Captain of Eos

Well, there goes the neighborhood.

That’s how it starts. First one moves in, and then another, and pretty soon it ain’t even your neighborhood anymore.

You know what I’m talking about.

Them fucking goddamn metal-os.

Have you seen ‘em? The way they ride around on their metal-o sleds all the time, blasting that crap that they call “music” — it’s godawful. Jangling around their metal-o crap. This used to be a nice place. You know? Them metal-os ruin every place they live.

That’s what they do. They move in, put metal-o crap all over the place. You know what I mean? Metal-o fences in the front fucking yard. Then it’s like, before you know it, they gotta start speaking their metal-o language. You know? Learn fucking Bant. That’s what I say. This is Bant, so speak Bant or get the fuck out.

Them fucking metal-os, they’re like, “I’m from Esper, I’m from Esper” all the time. They gotta have like Esper flags and shit on their sleds. If you like Esper so much, why don’t you fucking go back there. Goddamn metal-os. If there were a back to Esper movement, you know, them people had the right idea. Ship ‘em all right back to Esper. You know? This is our shard. We built it.

And you know what the worst is, right? They come over here, to our shard, and then they gotta bitch all the time. Gimme this, gimme that. “Exalt me, exalt me.” All the time. They’re gonna attack, and they want you to exalt ‘em. It’s like, exalt your fuckin’ self. You know? Nobody exalted me when I was growing up. I hadda do everything for myself.

And then they’re like, black mana. Black mana? What the fuck is that shit? Black fucking mana? Get the fuck out of here.

You know, it’s those metal-os committin’ all the crimes. Attacking with more than one at once. They’re the ones doin’ it. You don’t see us doin’ that. Nuh-uh. We got too much pride. Not them metal-os. They’re all like, you should attack smart. Smart? We all know who’s smarter, right? We all know who’s got the higher IQ. Not them metal-os. Buncha gargoyles and shit. That’s what they are. Buncha gargoyles.

You hear me, you stupid metal-o piece a’ shit? Buncha fucking gargoyles.

Oh, shit, here come some of ‘em.

Comments

2 Responses to “There Goes The Neighborhood”

  1. Alexander on March 5th, 2011 11:39 pm

    Just looking through the archives and I must say to this, remember that Naya was here first then the Bant forced them onto reservations.

  2. MrCorn on June 23rd, 2011 2:46 pm

    They’re worse than those stinkin’ Kamis!

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