Orcish Generals Add A Little Something To This Month’s Kill Contest

Posted on March 31, 2009
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DOMINARIA — An orcish captain representing Generals Mlarg and Morgo announced Tuesday that the legion would be adding “a little something” to this month’s kill contest.

“As you all know, first prize is a new oriflamme. Anyone wanna see second prize? Second prize is a set of brass claws,” said the captain.

“Third prize is you’re fired,” he said.

“From a catapult,” the captain added.

The captain said that the legion of orcs was doing very poorly.

“You got weapons. Mlarg and Morgo paid good money for those weapons. Put the weapons into some elves,” he said. “You can’t stab shit, you are shit, get in the catapult because you are going out,” he said.

Incredulous veterans asked the captain who he was that he could treat soldiers this way.

“I killed 970,000 elves last year, how many did you kill?” the captain asked.

“See, pal, that’s who I am, and you’re nothing,” he said. “I came here because Mlarg and Morgo asked me for a favor. I said, the real favor, follow my advice and fire your fucking ass from a catapult because a loser is a loser,” he added.

- March 21, 2006

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