Planeswalker Hangs Whittled Log From Tree

Posted on September 27, 2009
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ZENDIKAR — Although Garruk Wildspeaker is able to traverse entire planes and commands a vast array of magical spells, he spent most of yesterday afternoon hiding in the jungles of Zendikar whittling one end of a large log into a point and then hanging it from a tree.

Garruk told reporters, “My enemy is stealthier and stronger than I, but I can outwit him with my traps.” He then covered himself with mud to camouflage himself and reduce his body’s temperature.

Reporters have also recently spotted Garruk fashioning a bow and arrow out of branches, and arranging vines to use as rope swings.

“Sure I could summon any number of creatures and cast any number of spells to battle my enemy, but now that I’m in Zendikar, it makes more sense for me, as a planeswalker, to just cover a hole in the ground with sticks and leaves,” Garruk said.

He also underscored the ugliness of his enemy.

In a related story, a mysterious creature in the same jungles of Zendikar claimed the life of former Minnesota governor Jesse Ventura.

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