Ulamog The Traveler Chooses The Form Of A Giant Slor

NEW YORK — Spokesman Louis Tully announced Tuesday morning that Ulamog the Traveler, the fearsome god-being from another dimension, will shortly be entering our world in “one of the prechosen forms.”
That form will be that of a giant slor, said Tully, who also explained that he is “the keymaster.”
“Many shuvs and zuuls will soon [...]

Photochop – Avatar Dragon Broodgod

Photochop – Metallica Sliver

Card Of The Week – Leveler

This week’s card is Leveler. Leveler levels the playing field between you and your opponent. You have a 10/10, but he has a library.

Pro Puts Tournament’s Final Game On Hold To Level Grind For A Few Hours

PHILADELPHIA — Pro player Quincy Loftus announced Wednesday that he was going to hold off on finishing the last game in a finals here so that he could “level grind for a few hours.”
Loftus announced to his opponent, Ike Boger, and a crowd gathered for a 1k here that he didn’t feel his “guys” [...]

H.P. Lovecraft Protagonist Driven Mad By Aetherplasm

ARKHAM, Mass. — H.P. Lovecraft protagonist Herbert Dexter Blake announced Saturday that he had been driven mad by the sight and memory of an Aetherplasm, a 1/1 creature for four mana that he described as “a nightmarish conjunction of energy and pulsating flesh.”
“Even now, my body recoils in horror of the memory of it, [...]

Photochop – Card Backward In Sleeve

Photochop – Time Travel

Card Of The Week – Raging River

This week’s card is Raging River. Remember, your plan to attack using Raging River can be thwarted by Ensnaring Bridge.

Magical Elephant Is My Co-Pilot

DAYTON, Ohio — A local man is talking to everyone here with his simple, short religious message of peace.
Isaac Tamkin, 68, of Dayton, wants you to know that Magical Elephant is his co-pilot.
“Wherever I go, Magical Elephant is on board,” Tamkin told The Magic Lampoon on Tuesday.
“Although this vehicle does brake for rapture, Magical [...]

Photochop – Vespene Gas

Photochop – Mass Calcify

Card Of The Week – Murkfiend Liege

This week’s card is Murkfiend Liege. Lol, whut?

Dreams Of A Black Knight

By The Black Knight
The day will come.
A day of honor; and glory; and destiny.
The day I meet my foe on the field of battle.
He has eluded me. Where I have searched for him, he has not been found. Where I have pursued him, he has vanished. Where I have sought to block him, he has [...]

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