Facts Of Magic
Posted on July 30, 2010
Filed Under Articles, Flashbacks, V. Wedge | 18 Comments
As revealed in a recent Mark Rosewater article, Magic designers often perform real world research to inspire card design. We spent several weeks poring through the Encyclopædia Britannica for items that may have inspired certain existing Magic cards, and we found the following.
“Mold is able to creep fast enough to destroy moving vehicles and wide enough to destroy an entire city.”
“There is no limit to how much equipment a soldier can hold at one time.”
“It is possible to skeletonize animals that do not have skeletons, for instance, jellyfish or bees. The skeleton of an elephant is the same size as the skeleton of a dog.”
“The pox was a disease notorious for having killed one-third, rounded up, of Europe’s population. Smallpox, on the other hand, killed only a single person.”
“Hurricanes cannot harm people or animals who are incapable of flight. They also cannot cause structural damage to buildings.”
“If a vampire bat is stricken with nausea, it will immediately die.”
“A single manta ray can attack with the same might as an entire school of piranha. Manta rays are sometimes known to kill bears.”
“There exists a variety of falcon that is impervious to lightning, flames, and even lava.”
“According to the Arabian Nights legend, when Aladdin died, everything he stole immediately returned to its owners. Also, Aladdin was a really fat and ugly guy who looked kind of like a girl.”
“Anarchy is a philosophy centered on the destroying of empty fields. An anarchist is someone who follows this philosophy by helping wizards to remember spells they cast a long time ago.”
“A person riding a horse cannot be stopped by foot soldiers, large animals, walls, archers, or even catapults.”
“An avalanche not only displaces snow from a mountain, but also destroys the very mountain itself. An avalanche can occur on any type of land that has snow; not even hills are required.”
“The sting of a bee will kill a bear instantly. So too will an electric shock.”
“A conspiracy is defined as an act committed by a group of people working together who all pretend to be a certain animal.”
“According to modern linguistic theory, a new word can be formed at any time by adding the suffix -mage to the end of any existing word.”
“Paralysis is a condition wherein movement becomes more difficult but is still completely possible.”
“Terror is an emotion that, when experienced, results in death.”
“When a web is left unattended, it is not unusual for a lion to climb up it and then battle a falcon in midair.”
“Ancient Norse legends tell of a mythical creature named Kookus, who was this disembodied head that breathed fire and was attached to a chain swung around by a goblin and stuff.”
All above quotes are taken from the 15th edition of the Encyclopædia Britannica, published in 1984 and edited by Philip W. Goetz.
- July 11, 2009
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18 Responses to “Facts Of Magic”
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Ahahah! Very clever and funny as usual.
Well done!
Silly british… :P
To be vindicated means to be destroyed utterly
Ha, good one, I always wondered about that card myself. “OK, you’re freed from blame! Wait, where did he go.”
[...] The Relevant Magic Lampoon Article [...]
“It is a commonly known fact that a pack of bears is easily killed by a pair of squirrels. The squirrels, however, are also killed in the process.”
“Twenty squires is more than enough to kill a god.”
“When a millstone is used to make enough flour, people forget who they are.”
“Elephant grass is a species of grass that prevents zombies, skeletons, and bats from passing through or over. All other animals and warriors can pass through it if a toll is paid.”
“A typical Shu soldier-farmer produced only one crop in his entire life.”
“Tutoring is a process that teaches a student a new capability that may be used only once.”
To be “hellbent” means to be out of ideas.
“Black will do anything to win.”
You can neck snap a headless person while they wear a helmet.
You can remove the soul of a souless one XD
A Portuguese Man o’ War is a type of jellyfish whose sting causes a victim to disappear entirely.
However, certain species of toads, elk, meerkats, and falcons are immune to its effects.
Very good. I really like the believable quotes. Must get my copy soon for more real-life references. (…So, Lightning never strikes twice?)
My favourite:
“When a web is left unattended, it is not unusual for a lion to climb up it and then battle a falcon in midair.”
This “is not unusual” really pushes it over the top.
This is the funniest post on any mtg humor site ever.
“Women using forges have been known to destroy entire universes by remembering what swords look like. This is why they are illegal.”
“A person riding a horse cannot be stopped by foot soldiers, large animals, walls, archers, or even catapults.”
Age of Empires seconds this – catapults have very bad matchup against cavalry.
“Spirits and illusions are tangible beings. If you poke an illusion it will disappear, despite being able to physically eat you alive, while many spirits are capable of being killed by birds, such as the Caah-Blede species which hold swords and make their trainers think of them.”