This Organization Does Not Tolerate Failure

Posted on August 31, 2010
Filed Under Articles, Staff | 3 Comments

Goblin King

By a Goblin King

Number Two. Step forward.

This organization does not tolerate failure.

You were ordered to stop the elvish agent from escaping.

You failed.

You will receive one final chance to compensate for your blundering.

Go to the table.

Observe the spellbomb on the table.

It is a device containing pyrite, one of the world’s deadlier substances.

Pick it up.

Pick it up.

You will take this spellbomb and deliver it to the elvish agent, disposing of him.

Failure will not be tolerated.

Do not return until you have succeeded.

———-

Number Two and Number Three. Step forward.

It seems, Number Three, that Number Two once again failed to dispose of the meddlesome elvish agent.

It appears that he allowed a valuable spellbomb to be detonated prematurely, by poking it with a stick.

Please demonstrate to him the price of failure.

Hold him down.

Place the earwig into his ear.

Place it in.

Observe his screams.

Incompetence will not be tolerated.

Number Four. Please remove the former Number Two and feed his body to the clickslither.

Number Three. You are now Number Two.

As Number Two, you are charged with the elimination of the elvish agent.

You will take this goblin bomb, and this coin.

You will bring the bomb to the elvish agent, and flip the coin until the elvish agent is terminated.

Do not fail.

There is no room in this organization for failure.

A Goblin King is a maniacal supervillain and a correspondent for The Magic Lampoon.

Comments

3 Responses to “This Organization Does Not Tolerate Failure”

  1. MAGG on September 1st, 2010 2:32 am

    LOL! Good one!

  2. Yen on September 1st, 2010 5:38 pm

    This is a Wal-Mart allegory, right?

  3. ymirsson on September 2nd, 2010 7:50 am

    This organization will do anything to achieve its goals, which highest premise can be summarized as followed: Win!

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