Card Of The Week – Elvish Ranger

This week’s card is Elvish Ranger. Ooh, it’s getting so hot out here.

Our Card Price Predictions

By Larry Phillips
Magic Lampoon Card Store shift manager
Good evening! As you know, since we’ve opened our Magic Lampoon Card Store, our site not only entertains you with our hilarious jokes and gimmicks, but also brings Magic cards to you at competitive prices.
I’m here to tell you our forecasts for what’s going to happen to [...]

Photochop – Active Beacon

The -2/-2 Counters Are Caused By The Rabbit

By The Ebon Praetor
I am well-versed in the ways of Wickedness.
Wickedness, and Evil.
Malefaction is my station; practiced I am in the arts of inflicting suffering and torment. I am thoroughly malevolent; and unburdened by mercy.
However, there is one thing that I would like to make clear:
The -2/-2 counters are caused by the rabbit.
While I concede [...]

Photochop – Landscape

Card Of The Week – Ancient Silverback

This week’s card is Ancient Silverback. We believe that the Seventh Edition Ancient Silverback may be the Magic: The Gathering Ape who looks the most like Donkey Kong.

Packers To Receive Three Byes For This Year’s Playoffs

NEW YORK — The National Football League announced Tuesday that the Green Bay Packers will receive three byes when the team makes the playoffs this year, due to the Packers having reached “Level Four” of the “NFL Players Club” with the team’s 10-0 record.
NFL spokeswoman Tina Gaffney said that three byes are the Packers’ reward [...]

Photochop – Scowlglass

Photochop – Ultimus Nullifier

I Sure Would Enjoy These Bottle Gnomes™ A Lot More If They Would Stop Screaming

By a friendly consumer
Man, there’s nothing more refreshing when you need to have your thirst quenched than a delicious Bottle Gnome™!
But I sure would enjoy these Bottle Gnomes™ a lot more if they would stop screaming.
When you’re hot and thirsty, reach for a refreshing Bottle Gnome™ in one of four awesome flavors! Hydroblast Blue™; Code [...]

Card Of The Week – Sky Diamond

This week’s card is Sky Diamond, Mirage’s attempt to fix Mox Sapphire. We legitimately wonder — if it came into play untapped, would it be overpowered?

Greenouts

Here is part five of our foray into the psychological effect of seeing hybrid cards as only one of the colors that can cast them. It’s easy as casual players to accidentally think of hybrid cards as only going in decks of all their colors. Green is perhaps the most interesting of the series, with [...]

Photochop – Kopper Kobolds

Mo’ Money, Part I

By Mark Rosewater
Welcome to Money Week! Finally, I get to write the column that I’ve been hinting at for months. How exactly did we come up with the idea to create the new “money” card type? I’m glad you asked.
It all began when Richard Garfield came up with the original design for Magic. At its core, [...]

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