So at this game store in Seattle they sometimes run non-sanctioned tournaments, so that people who work at Wizards of the Coast can play in them. I played in one a while back and kept notes for writing up a tournament report. My plan was to do well, and then write up a report about how well I did. I didn’t do so well, but I figured, why should it always be the winners that write the reports? It can be cool reading about a loser too. So anyway here’s my report.

Since the tournament wasn’t sanctioned, they ran some wacky format. I don’t really remember what it was. I don’t have my decklist either. It wasn’t a great deck so who cares anyway. I did keep notes on all the matches. Here goes.

Round 1: Juan

Juan doesn’t speak English well, so I never really get to know him.

Game 1: He busts out a first turn Mana Clash, which does 2 to him. Then he plays Orcish Captain and Mijae Djinn. I get out some guys, and he whiffs on Puppet’s Verdict and two tries of Crooked Scales, so I run him over.

Game 2: I had tested this match-up, and found it to be about 50-50, but really he never had a chance. He dies to damage from his own Mana Crypt and a Bottle of Suleiman that blew up on him.

1-0

Round 2: Alex

Alex is a local; we play all the time.

Game 1: He casts Visions and makes me shuffle. Then he sits for a while playing lands. He gets out Onslaught, but never uses it. I play a creature, but he puts Torment on it. Eventually I get out a couple more creatures, and he plays Apocalypse, leaving nothing in play. I’m thinking it looks bad for me, but I end up running him out of cards — he’d drawn an extra card from casting Prophecy.

Game 2: I get in some early beats with a Windseeker Centaur, and then trade it for his Zodiac Rooster. He plays some fliers, which I clear out with a blue Hurricane, and I drop a hairy Runesword. He plays a Shichifukujin Dragon, which is looking scary, but I luck out and hit “dragons” with my Aswan Jaguar. He plays a Homarid Leper to block with, and backs it up with Painful Hedgehog. We stare at each other for a few turns, until he plays the Mishra Vanguard card, which looks like game. But again I luck out, topdecking a Legends rules card for the win.

2-0

Round 3: Mark Rosewater

Finally, I get to play an R&D guy. Mark is really friendly and chatty. He tells me all these stories while we’re playing. Stuff like, “In playtest we called this Fat Elf,” or “My father designed this card.” Plus he plays quickly. A class act all the way.

Game 1: The game quickly gets really complicated. Then one turn he draws his card, and smiles like he’s figured something out. He even shows me the card — it’s a Telethopter. He beats me that turn, with the Telethopter playing a crucial role, even though I have out 3 blockers and an Ensnaring Bridge, and am at 29 life, and all he has is Xenic Poltergeist, Tawnos’s Coffin, Sorceress Queen, Dwarven Thaumaturgist, Serrated Arrows, Thran Forge, Puppet Strings, and Chandler.

Game 2: I’m manascrewed. Mark Donates Conspiracy to me, naming Walls. He plays a Ghazban Ogre which I get due to some pain land damage he’s taken, and he triple Creature Bonds it. He attacks me with Llanowar Elves and uses False Orders to make me block it with the Ghazban Ogre. He casts Righteousness on the Ogre, and plays Tunnel for the win.

2-1

Round 4: Sam

A stranger. He seems friendly enough, until I ask for some of his Pringles. I resolve to totally rules-lawyer him, but his play is flawless.

Game 1: I get out a quick Wall of Wood, but he starts flying over with Whippoorwill. Then I get Maze of Ith, which stops it cold, but he plays a Serra Angel, which I can’t do anything about. I’m forced to Wrath, leaving nothing in play but my Black Knight. He Terrors the Knight (using Sleight of Mind to make it “non-white”) and then Armageddons. We rebuild. Finally the crucial turn comes when he attacks with Evil Eye of Orms-by-Gore, Akron Legionnaire, and Carnivorous Plant. I block the Evil Eye with Ball Lightning, chump the Legionnaire with a Peacekeeper, and double-block the Carnivorous Plant with two Ascendant Evincars. He has no further plays, and on my turn I attack back with the guy on Adarkar Wastes, and have Giant Growth and Berserk for the win.

Game 2: We both have creature-light draws, and it’s several turns before anything happens. Finally he gets out two Howling Mines and two Chains of Mephistopheles, and soon it’s pretty obvious that we’re going to run out of time before either of us figures out what’s supposed to happen. So I call a judge. The judge tries to explain it to us, and it just isn’t getting through. Another judge comes over, but he doesn’t explain anything, he just watches the first judge, all squinty-eyed. Finally the second judge calls the head judge over, and the head judge gives the first judge a warning for stalling. The first judge tries to explain things faster, but it’s no use, neither of us can understand him. Finally the head judge DQ’s him. Then the judges all walk away. I try to call another judge, but they know better, and pretend they can’t see me. We run out of time.

Sam really wants the win, and offers me $10 to concede. I demand $20 not to report him, and he demands $50 not to report me. I concede and still end up $20 down on the whole deal.

2-2

Round 5: Chip

A pro. He wins all the local tournaments, and will probably win this one. He presents his deck, and I cut my thumb on the metal sleeves while trying to shuffle it. Not a good sign.

Game 1: He plays some walls and some face down cards. I figure he’s got some kind of wall / morph theme. Then I realize it’s a Netrunner deck. I have no way to stop him from scoring agendas, and he wins quickly.

Game 2: See game 1.

2-3

So I have some time, so I go over to where Richard Garfield is playing, and watch his game. There’s a creature stall and not much is happening. Then Richard casts Splendid Genesis, and says I have to join the game. WTF? I read the card and sit down. He deals me out a deck and I start trying to figure it out. The deck is pretty defensive, and doesn’t give me a lot of options. I do what I can. Meanwhile Richard keeps using Glasses of Urza on me every turn when I draw my card. Finally the moment he’s been waiting for comes. I draw some weird card and reveal my hand, and he immediately plays Word of Command and makes me cast it. It’s Proposal. At first I think he’s going to make me propose to him, which just isn’t going to happen. I’m not ready for that kind of commitment, and anyway he’s already married. But then I read it closer — it says “Richard” and “Lily” right on it. And sure enough, his wife is standing there watching, and he turns to her and proposes. I guess it’s some kind of renewing of vows deal. She accepts of course, and, well, the game is bogging down. I start complaining, and then the other guy tells me that this is all happening inside a Shahrazad subgame. Since I’m not even playing in the main game, I can’t possibly win or lose. So I leave.

Round 6: Gene

This guy is a real wacko. He pile-shuffles into 4 piles, and I try to explain to him that that’s a bad number of piles for pile-shuffling. Man does he jump down my throat.

Game 1: Gene mulligans down to 4 cards but still comes out strong. He Lightning Blasts my only guy, and beats me up with Icatian Town tokens and a Two-headed Giant of Foriys.

Game 2: He takes a while shuffling, and I idly ask what time it is. He has on 4 wristwatches, so I’m thinking, what. But man is that the wrong question to ask. He starts yelling about the four corners of the earth and how I’m educated stupid four ways from Thursday. I’m so rattled I don’t write down what happens in the rest of the match. All my notes say is that Gene simultaneously won, lost, drew, and was DQ’d.

2-3-?

Round 7: Joe

Wouldn’t you know it, the friend I came with. Joe and I go way back. We grew up together. We went to the same school; we had a crush on the same girl. We served in Iraq together. He even saved my life once.

Joe wants to draw. He only needs 1 point and he’s in the top 8. He was paired way down; I’m utterly out of contention at this point. But I came to play.

Game 1: I get the first turn Black Lotus / Channel / Fireball.

Game 2: Joe’s manascrewed and only manages to get out an Ornithopter. I Strip Mine his only land, and then do all 20 damage to him with a single Warp Artifact.

3-3-?

Joe and I stayed to watch the finals. It came down to Chip and Mark Rosewater, and Mark actually beat the Netrunner deck. I don’t remember how exactly, but I know it involved Pox and Invisibility.

So there you have it. I didn’t do so well, but it wasn’t sanctioned, so whatever. I wouldn’t play that deck again. Next tournament I go to, I’m gonna net-deck, like the pros; I’m trying to get Chip to trade me some of the cards.

- June 12, 2005

Some players are too busy playing to realize it, but the events of Magic: The Gathering tell a story. These events form a timeline, comprising everything that took place in the Magic novels, and on the cards, from Dominaria to Rath to Mirrodin and beyond.

In celebration of the upcoming set Future Sight, let’s take a look at the timeline, in Argivian Reckoning, of Magic: The Gathering’s fantasy history.

-800000: Colors licked into being by giant cow
-140000: Snake women develop boobs
-100000: Rat women develop two boobs; lose remaining boobs
-80000: Angels gain bellybuttons
-6000: Age of the ages; Sword, crown, staff forged
-5000: That Which Was Taken is taken
-4998: The Great Stabbing Of The Pithing Needles
-4995: The events of Kamigawa draw to a close. Umezawa sent to Dominaria
-4000: Thran civilization. Yawgmoth, an evil doctor, comes to mighty Thran city
-3999: No one can read Yawgmoth’s signature — thousands die
-3998: Thran, Phyrexians engage in giant conflict
-3990: Yawgmoth banished to Phyrexia; says “Oh, no” as he becomes a god
-3000: Age of Lace/Blast
-2147: Banding invented
-2142: Elder dragons learn how to remove banding after years of study
-2001: R&D hit by bus
-2000: Time of Legends begins
-1998: Great Attack of the Animated Mana Batteries
-1997: War of the Plainswalkers
-1994: The Age of Rabid Wombats begins
-1926: Great Wombat Scouring ends Age of Wombats
-1920: Gwendlyn di Corci sues estate for child support
-1912: Lady Orca shaves head
-1000: Time of Legends ends
0: Argivians foolishly dig up Thran, Phyrexian crap
30: Urza, Mishra argue over whom mother liked more; part ways
30 and two seconds: Brothers’ War begins
64: Urza destroys much of world with giant soup bowl, ending Brothers’ War
65: Urza’s Saga commences; world doesn’t notice
70: Thousands journey to Kroog to prevent 1 damage
190: Age of the Homarids
200: Thrulls, Homarids begin jumping up and down
201: Animals jumping up and down cause several empires to fall
300: Dark Age begins; no one can see
301: Earliest known Bone Flute / Twiddle joke
306: Sirens’ song massacres peasants during festival
312: War barge turns out to be deadly trap
500: Global warming causes Ice Age
700: Pox kills a third of all Dominarians
1922: Urza bums around Paris with Hemingway and Gertrude Stein
2884: Jaya Ballard hires team of ghost writers
2900: Alliances are formed, it starts to warm up
2914: Oops, cold snap
2934: Global warming ends Ice Age
2935: Last known “Foglion.” Creatures don’t look retarded from here on.
3346: Urza decides, enough with saga. Begins creating legacy
3360: Urza realizes he has no legacy. Builds Urza Library, writes life story
3361: Urza begins seeking destiny
3362: Stack discovered; damage is all over it
3500: Urza arrested for cloning Masters of Arms
3700: Urza’s blue period
4000: Events of Homelands take place on other plane; absolutely no one notices
4140: Dominaria becomes politically correct; black people given jobs as Village Elders
4150: Events of Mirage take place; flank knights ride around
4152: Love Song of Night and Day hits No. 1
4179: Events of Visions take place; vampires begin tutoring
4190: Age of the Homarids
4196: Gerrard begins flying around in ship
4206: Yawgmoth nearly destroys Dominaria; sudden realization that moon is weapon saves world
4210: Blastoderm Era fades away
4216: Phyrexia still refusing Dominarian inspections
4240: Merfolk discover computer games, go into hiding
4305: Mirari begins wreaking havoc on Otaria; Braids discovers dreads; world controlled by wild mongrels
4306: Mirari wreaks more havoc; entire world aligns between goblins or Astral Slide
4307: Psychatog hits for 1
4309: Karona regrets name change
4490: Humans become human
4500: On Mirrodin, metal creatures fight other metal creatures; Metal Age
4501: Death Metal Age
4502: Age of Clamping
4509: Fifth sun dawns over Mirrodin; Age of Trinkets
4600: Time spirals out of control; go to start
4602: Planes explode into total chaos
4603: Einstein poses for Presence of the Master
4604: Future intrudes into present; go to end
5001: The Great Extinction: all Lords die off suddenly
6404: Karn & Squee reunite, have a few beers
8000: Elder Land Wurm still not going anywhere
8190: Age of the Homarids
10000: Ravnican conflict begins; slums rumble repeatedly
10004: Dimir Guild deletes this entry
10019: Ravnican conflict ends; Boros deck wins
72000: Triumphant return of poison
120000: Squire materializes in future; still worst creature ever

- April 9, 2007

Thanks to some fine detective work at MTGRobot, the complete Mirrodin Pure spoiler is already available! The folks over there managed to learn what every card is going to be and put together a complete list, and they were nice enough to share it with us.

So here you go! If you don’t want to know in advance what’s going to be in the next set, you’ve been warned!

MIRRODIN PURE

WHITE: [19/19]

Armygeddon
3W
Sorcery
Destroy all Soldiers and Equipment.

Cure
W
Enchantment – Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature loses infect and costs 1 less to cast.

Elspeth Relaxing
3WW
Planeswalker – Elspeth
4
+1: Have a beer.
-1: Pay for a round of beers.
-5: Get in an argument about whether or not the Phyrexians could have been detected earlier, then trash the place.

Epitaph
W
Enchantment – Aura
Enchant nonartifact creature card in a graveyard
Here lies a brave soul
Beloved attacker, respected chump blocker
Turns 3-7

Glimmerpoint Stag Party
1WW
Sorcery
Unattach all equipment from target Elk, while all other creatures watch.

Lint Hawk
W
Creature – Bird
2/2
Flying, static cling (All artifact creatures with converted mana cost 1 or less able to block this creature do so.)
When Lint Hawk enters the battlefield, sacrifice it unless you return a linen or terrycloth permanent you control to owner’s hand.

Long Denouement
Enchantment
6WWW
At the beginning of your upkeep, exile a creature you control. We learn what happened to that creature.
When you control no creatures, stand up and throw out the rest of your popcorn.

Loxodon Elephant
2W
Creature – Elephant Elephant
3/3

Mirran Grief Counselor
2W
Creature – Human
2/2
Connect (This deals damage to creatures in the form of +1/+1 counters and to players in the form of friendship counters. If any player has 10 friendship counters, the game ends and everyone wins.)

Mirrodin Purelace
W
Instant
Target spell or permanent’s watermark becomes Mirran.

Office Job
1W
Enchantment – Aura
Enchant Creature
Enchanted creature can’t attack or block except on weekends.

Razorfield Wino
3W
Creature – Human
2/4
Boozecraft – As long as you’ve had at least 3 drinks, Razorfield Wino can’t attack or block and you draw an extra card in your draw step.

Reminiscing Leonin
1W
Creature – Retired Cat
1/2
T: Tap target creature with nothing better to do.

Rock Egg
2W
Creature – Egg
0/3
Defender
When Rock Egg is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, put a colorless artifact token onto the battlefield.

Swords to Plows
W
Instant
Exile target Equipment. Its controller untaps all lands he or she controls.

Time Out
1W
Instant
Target creature is exiled until it has thought about what it just did.

United Planes
4W
Enchantment
Whenever a player attacks another player, players vote.

Vacation
2WW
Sorcery
Exile all creatures. Their owners put them onto the battlefield two turns from now. White creatures exiled this way gain sunburn.

White Sun’s Nadir
8WW
Sorcery
Players vote on who wins. One player’s vote doesn’t count.

BLUE: [19/19]

Adequate Architect
1UU
Creature – Vedalken Artificer
1/3
Blue creatures you control are subcontractors in addition their other types.
Tap an untapped subcontractor you control: Add 2 to your mana pool. Spend this mana only over the course of six months to draft artifacts and artifact abilities.

Ambassador from Kamigawa
2U
Creature – Human Ambassador
1/1
When the game is getting boring, put a cloud of lungs onto the battlefield. It’s a 3/3 blue Spirit creature!

Bacon of Tomorrows
6UU
Sorcery
Eat an additional breakfast. Shuffle Bacon of Tomorrows into its owner’s library.

Barry, Planestourist
3UU
Planeswalker – Barry
3
+1: Take a picture of target rare or mythic rare permanent.
-1: Search the gift shop for an artifact card with converted mana cost 1 or less, reveal that card, and put it into your luggage. Then shuffle the gift shop.
-5: You get an emblem with “My planeswalker went to Mirrodin and all I got was this stupid emblem.”

Chlorine Treatment
1UU
Enchantment
U: Add W to your mana pool.

Christopher Vedalken
2U
Legendary Creature – Vedalken
*/*
Christopher Vedalken has power and TOUGHNESS equal to the number of Cowbells. On the battlefield. Very good.

Constipated Sphinx
4UU
Creature – Sphinx
5/6
Flying
Whenever you would draw a card, you can’t.

Dispense Ice
2U
Instant
Tap target artifact, creature, or land.
Metalcraft – Tap two target artifacts, creatures, or lands instead if you control three or more artifacts.

Fellwar Stone Mage
2U
Creature – Human Wizard
2/2
When Fellwar Stone Mage enters the battlefield, you may search your library for an artifact card with converted mana cost 2, reveal that card, and put it into your hand. If you do, shuffle your library.

Ghost of Mirrodin Past
8UU
Creature – Beast Spirit
0/0
Affinity for artifacts
Modular the number of artifacts you control
When Ghost of Mirrodin Past enters the battlefield, choose one: Draw a bunch of cards; or search your library for two creature cards and put them onto the battlefield, then shuffle. Entwine exile the top 10 cards of your library.

Ice Cream Truck
1UU
Creature – Human Vendor
1/5
When Ice Cream Truck enters the battlefield, play that song.
$1: Get some Ice Cream. Any player may pay this ability.

Instill Inception
3U
Instant
Exile target creature. Imprint it on target creature you control. Then exile that creature, and imprint it on another target creature you control.

Man-o’-Peace
2U
Creature – Jellyfish
2/2
When Man-o’-Peace enters the battlefield, return target life to its owner’s life total.

Marketing Ploy
U
Sorcery
The next card you play this turn will either be Avatar of Woe or Farmstead. The other players guess which.

Neurok “Commando”
2U
Creature – Human Rogue
2/1
Neurok “Commando” isn’t wearing anything under its equipment.

Sole Parry
1U
Instant
Prevent all damage one or two target Fish would deal this turn.

Sunblock
UU
Instant
Counter target sorcery spell with converted mana cost 15 or less.

Spell Parity
1UU
Instant
Counter this and target spell.

Steal Golem
2U
Enchantment – Aura
Enchant Golem
You control enchanted Golem.
You can’t cast Aura spells.

BLACK: [19/19]

Absentee Vatfather
3BB
Creature – Horror
5/4
Haste, neglect (This creature deals damage in the form of not being there.)
When Absentee Vatfather enters the battlefield, you lose 1 life for each turn this game Absentee Vatfather wasn’t on the battlefield and you may draw as many cards as you like.
At end of turn, shuffle Absentee Vatfather into your library and discard your hand.

Antiseptic Rats
1BB
Creature – Rat
2/2
Disinfect (This creature deals damage to creatures in the form of +1/+1 counters and to players in the form of them losing poison counters.)

Blacklist
1B
Sorcery
Name a creature card. Cards with that name lose all abilities for the rest of the game.

Cancerous Mass
2B
Creature – Crab Horror
2/1
Benign (This creature deals damage to players in the form of lump counters which can be safely ignored.)

Casper the Friendly Ghost
1BB
Legendary Creature – Spirit
2/2
Flying
Lovable (This creature deals damage in the form of hugs.)

Corrupted Corruption
1B
Enchantment – Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature has infecâ€. (It deals damage to creatures in the form of the game crashing.)

Five Suns Vampire
3BB
Creature – Vampire
4/4
Flying
When Five Suns Vampire enters the battlefield, sacrifice it.

Forgotten Nim
2B
Creature – Zombie
0/1
Forgotten Nim gets +1/+0 for each artifact you control.
When Forgotten Nim enters the battlefield, look through all your old Spellbombs and sigh.

Funeral
B
Instant
Put target creature that has lethal damage on it into its owner’s graveyard. Say a few words.

Go For the Hug
1B
Instant
Target nonblack creature feels vaguely uncomfortable until end of turn.

Old-fashioned Zombie
2B
Creature – Zombie
2/2
When Old-fashioned Zombie attacks, it gets +1/+1 until end of turn if defending player drew any cards this turn.

Phyrexian Vaccination
2BB
Enchantment
Creatures with -1/-1 counters on them can’t have -1/-1 counters put on them.
BB: Put a -1/-1 counter on target creature.

Phyrsecute
2BB
Sorcery
Look at target player’s hand. He or she discards all black and green cards.

Platinum Diabolic Edict
1B
Sorcery
You don’t sacrifice a creature and your opponents can’t not sacrifice a creature.

Play Fair
B
Enchantment – Aura
Enchant creature
If enchanted creature is mythic, it gets -2/-2. If it’s common, it gets +1/+1.

Skeleton That’s Evil Sure But Not Insanely So
1BB
Creature – Skeleton
3/1
Sacrifice a noncreature permanent: Regenerate Skeleton That’s Evil Sure But Not Insanely So.

Square
1BB
Sorcery
Destroy target land.

Tournament-quality Non-mythic Dude
BB
Creature – Human Wizard
1/1
Just kidding. Swampwalk, protection from Goats.

Weremyr
1B
Creature – Human Myr
2/2
Metalcraft – As long as you control three or more artifacts, Weremyr gets -1/-1, is an artifact in addition to its types, and has “T: Add B to your mana pool.”

RED: [19/19]

Barbecue Celebration
1RR
Enchantment
Whenever you sacrifice a creature, it’s delicious.

Bell Atio
1R
Creature – Elemental
2/1
Whenever a land enters the battlefield under an opponent’s control, if it costs $5 or more, Bell Atio deals 3 damage to that player.

Bonfire of the Phyrexians
R
Sorcery
Exile all cards in graveyards. Remove all -1/-1 counters from creatures. Players still have poison counters but they don’t matter.

Chapstick Shaman
1R
Creature – Goblin Shaman
2/1
When Chapstick Shaman enters the battlefield, it heals 1 damage from target creature or player that was dealt 1 damage this turn.

Chrome Dome
3R
Sorcery
Metalcraft – If you control three or more artifacts, Chrome Dome deals 5 damage to target bald player.

Elspeth Has Needs Too
R
Sorcery
Sacrifice an artifact.

Insane Veteran
5RR
Creature – Human Soldier
5/5
T: Destroy five target creatures.

Monica
4R
Creature – Legendary Human
3/3
RRR, T: Regenerate target artifact creature.

Morphatog
3RR
Creature – Atog
3/3
Sacrifice an artifact: Untap Morphatog.
Sacrifice an artifact: Morphatog gains intimidate until end of turn.
Sacrifice an artifact: Morphatog gains haste until end of turn.
Sacrifice an artifact: Morphatog gets +1/-1 or -1/+1 until end of turn.

Ornate Scabbard
1R
Enchantment – Aura
Enchant Sword

Party Hard
RRR
Instant
Take 3 drinks. Draw a card. Show it to everyone.

Platinum Lash Out
1R
Instant
Platinum Lash Out deals 3 damage to target creature. Clash with an opponent. You can’t lose this clash and your opponents can’t win it. If you win, Platinum Lash Out deals 3 damage to that creature’s controller.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
1RR
Sorcery
Target creature deals damage equal to its power to its controller and each other creature its controller controls.

Sedgeness
3RR
Enchantment
Creatures you control get +1/+1 if you control a swamp.
B: Regenerate target creature.

Slapstick Shaman
1R
Creature – Goblin Shaman
2/1
When Slapstick Shaman enters the battlefield, it deals 1 damage to another target creature you control.

Spellbomb
3RR
Instant
Destroy target spell. It deals damage equal to its converted mana cost to each creature and player.

Throw to the Goat
R
Instant
Destroy target noncreature artifact.

Yard Sale
1R
Sorcery
Sacrifice any number of artifacts for 2 each.

Yawgmothatog
1R
Creature – Atog
1/2
Sacrifice an expansion: Yawgmothatog gets +2/+2 until end of turn.

GREEN: [19/19]

Baneslayer Ouphe
G
Creature – Ouphe
1/1
Artifactwalk, shroud strike, shattertouch, protection from Atogs and from Golems
T: Counter target activated ability from an artifact source.

Eternity’s Peace
1G
Instant
Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt for the rest of time.
Flashback 2G

Friendly Spider
1GG
Creature – Spider
1/3
Reach, some pig (If you control exactly one boar, that boar is legendary and gets +1/+1. Prevent all damage that would be dealt to it.)
When Friendly Spider is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, put a thousand 0/1 green Spider Hatchling creature tokens with reach onto the battlefield.

George, the Penultimate Troll
2GG
Legendary Creature – Troll
3/4
George, the Penultimate Troll can’t be countered by abilities.
George can’t be the target of spells or abilities your opponents have taken their hands off of.
1G: Tap George and remove all but one damage from it.

Giving Tree
1G
Creature – Plant
0/0
Defender
Giving Tree enters the battlefield with five +1/+1 counters on it.
Whenever you’re bored, remove a +1/+1 counter from Giving Tree.

Leech
1G
Creature – Leech
2/1
First strike
Leech can’t attack unless defending player controls a swamp.

Leyline of No LD, No Counters, No Jace
2GG
Enchantment
If Leyline of No LD, No Counters, No Jace is in your opening hand, you may begin the game with it on the battlefield.
Lands are indestructible.
Spells can’t be targeted.
Players can’t cast Jace spells, even the bad one.

Nonphyrexian Gremlins
2G
Creature – Gremlin
1/1
T: Destroy target artifact with flying.
If an opponent notices Nonphyrexian Gremlins on the battlefield, no-one believes him or her.

Nonvenomous Snake
1G
Creature – Snake
2/1

Peace
2GG
Enchantment
The battlefield is now the meadow. (”Enters the battlefield” abilities no longer work.)

Really Friendly Spider
3G
Creature – Spider
2/4
Reacharound

Reassuring Tanglewurm
3GG
Creature – Wurm
4/4
Green creatures can’t be intimidated.

Retired Elf
G
Creature – Elf
1/1
T: Reminisce about the days of adding G to your mana pool.

Sorry About Affinity, Really
2GG
Instant
Exile all artifacts, even lands. Exile all artifact cards in graveyards. Each player reveals his or her hand, discards the artifact cards, then exiles them. Exile all Dodecapods put onto the battlefield this way.

Spread the Joy
4G
Destroy target artifact from last expansion, then pro-life. (You choose any number of token creatures, and their controllers put copies of them onto the battlefield.)

The New Threat
3G
Sorcery
Put two 2/2 green Hound creature tokens with protection from Cats onto the battlefield.

Titania’s Instrumental
3G
Enchantment
Artifact creatures are noncreature artifacts with converted mana cost equal to their power.

Tunnel Ignoramus
1G
Creature – Elemental
2/1
Whenever a land enters the battlefield under your control, if you had a land enter the battlefield under your control this turn, then that land enters the battlefield under your control this turn, and put that land onto the battlefield under your control.

Withstand Geth
G
Instant
Target card in a graveyard can’t be put onto the battlefield this turn.

ARTIFACT: [62/62]

Achievement Unlocked
4
Artifact
Play Achievement Unlocked only if a Basilisk enchanted with Lure destroyed at least four creatures this turn.

Agentsmith
2
Artifact Creature – Artificer Construct
1/1
Whenever you cast an artifact spell, you may put a copy of Agentsmith onto the battlefield.

Back to Metalcrafting
4
Artifact
This is three artifacts okay.

Bloodstained Myr
1
Artifact Creature – Myr
2/2
Bloodstained Myr enters the battlefield with a -1/-1 counter on it. Each day he sees it and remembers the atrocities of war.

Brightsteel Colossus
13
Artifact Creature – Colossus
11/11
Trample, shiny
Brightsteel Colossus is indestructible.
If Brightsteel Colossus would be put into a graveyard from anywhere, reveal Brightsteel Colossus and shuffle it into its owner’s library instead.

Cenotaph
2
Artifact
When a creature you control is exiled, put Cenotaph into its owner’s graveyard. It represents that creature.

Charge Card
2
Artifact
Charge Card enters the battlefield with three charge counters on it.
Instead of paying the mana cost of an artifact spell you cast, you may remove a charge counter from Charge Card. If you do, pay that mana cost by the end of the month.

Chimeric Chimera
4
Artifact Creature – Chimera
2/2
X: Chimeric Chimera is X/X until end of turn.
Sacrifice Chimeric Chimera: Put two +1/+1 counters on target Chimera. That Chimera gains “X: This is X/X until end of turn.”

Clockwork Rhino
5
Artifact Creature – Rhino
3/3
Clockwork Rhino enters the battlefield with three charge counters on it.
Remove a charge counter from Clockwork Rhino: Clockwork Rhino gets +2/+0 and trample until end of turn.

Comfy Hat
1
Artifact – Equipment
Equipped creature gets -1/+1.
When equipped creature enters the battlefield, draw two cards.
Equip 1

Commemorative Quarter
Artifact
1
Sacrifice Commemorative Quarter: Add 1 to your money pool.

Darksteel Fork
3
Instant
Darksteel Fork is indestructible.
When you cast Darksteel Fork, it becomes a copy of target instant or sorcery.

Electrum Myr
2
Creature – Myr
1/1
T: Add W/U to your mana pool.

Fish Tank
4
Artifact
Fish Tank enters the battlefield with three charge counters on it.
T, Remove a charge counter from Fish Tank: Put a 1/1 blue Fish creature token onto the battlefield.
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may pay G. If you forget, remove all charge counters from Fish Tank and put an equal number of dead fish counters on it.

Hand Sanitizer
3
Artifact
Hand Sanitizer enters the battlefield with three charge counters on it.
T, Remove a charge counter from Hand Sanitizer: Target player reveals his or her hand and you choose a card with infect or proliferate from it. That player discards that card.

Hautflügel
4
Artifact – Equipment
Deutsch Waffe (When this Equipment enters the battlefield, put a 0/0 black German creature token onto the battlefield, then attach this to it.)
Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and flying und ist ein Mirraner.
Equip 6

Helium Tank
3
Artifact
Helium Tank enters the battlefield with three charge counters on it.
T, Remove a charge counter from Helium Tank: Target creature gains flying until end of turn.

Irony Golem
5
Artifact Creature – Golem
4/4
Irony Golem is made from Ironite, an iron-like material. It does not contain any actual iron.

Katamyri
7
Artifact Creature – Myr Ball
4/7
Whenever a creature blocks Katamyri, if it’s smaller than Katamyri, imprint it on Katamyri and put a +1/+1 counter on Katamyri.

Lead Zeppelin
6
Artifact Creature
4/4
Heavy metalcraft – As long as you control three or more electric guitars, Lead Zeppelin has flying.
T: Add B to your mana pool.

Library Card
1
Artifact
T: Check out the top card of your library. Return it within two weeks or pay 4.

Meloku, the Clouded Myr
5
Legendary Creature – Myr Wizard
2/4
T: Add U to your mana pool.
1, Return a mana you control to its owner’s pool: Put a 1/1 Myr artifact creature token with tapping for U onto the battlefield.

Memnarch the Cured
7
Legendary Artifact Creature – Wizard
4/5

Mere Myr
1
Artifact Creature – Myr
1/1

Mermyr
2
Artifact Creature – Merfolk Myr
1/1
Islandwalk

Mimic Hat
3
Artifact – Equipment
Imprint – When Mimic Hat enters the battlefield, you may exile a creature card from your hand.
Equipped creature is a copy of the exiled card.
Equip 3

Mirran Juggernaut
5
Artifact Creature – Juggernaut
4/5
Defender
Mirran Juggernaut blocks each turn if able.

Myr Cat
2
Artifact Creature – Cat Myr
2/1
Protection from blue

Myr Entity
3
Artifact Creature – Myr Shapeshifter
1/1
X: Creatures you control become 1/1 Myr until end of turn.

Myr Gallery
5
Artifact
The “myr rule” doesn’t apply.

Myr Octopod
8
Legendary Artifact Creature – Myr
2/8
6: Until end of turn, switch Myr Octopod’s power and toughness, then switch its toughness with its mana cost, then switch its subtypes with its supertypes, then switch its name with its rules text.

Myr Replica
2
Artifact Creature – Myr
1/1
1, Sacrifice Myr Replica: Add 1 to your mana pool.

Myr Universe
6
Artifact
T, Sacrifice Myr Universe: Exchange poison counters with target opponent. Activate this ability only during your upkeep.

Necrogen Censor
3
Artifact
Replace the word “Phyrexian” with “Necrogen” in the text and names of all permanents.

Nerf Boomerang
1
Artifact – Equipment
Equipped creature has “T, Unattach Nerf Boomerang: Nerf Boomerang deals 1 damage to target creature or player. Return Nerf Boomerang to its owner’s hand.”
Nerf (Prevent all damage that would be dealt by this permanent.)
Equip 2

Next Block Will Be Multicolored
2
Artifact
Whenever a player casts a multicolored spell, you may gain 1 life.

Ogre Resistor
2
Artifact
R, T: Put a charge counter on target Ogre.

Okk Replica
2
Artifact Creature – Goblin
4/4
Okk Replica can’t attack or block.

Ornithoptite
0
Artifact Creature – Thopter
0/1
Flying
Affinity for metalcraft

Peace Barge
4
Artifact
3: Target creature gains islandwalk until end of turn.

Pistus Pants
3
Artifact – Equipment
Equipped creature has “T, Unattach Pistus Pants: Search your library for a clean piece of equipment and put it onto the battlefield attached to this creature.”
Equip UU

Platinum Card
5
Artifact
The contents of your mana pool can’t change.

Platinum Darksteel Reactor
4
Artifact
Platinum Darksteel Reactor is indestructible and other permanents are destructible.
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may put a charge counter on Platinum Darksteel Reactor and remove a charge counter from each other permanent.
When Platinum Darksteel Reactor has twenty or more charge counters on it, you win the game and opponents lose the game.

Platinum Myr
2
Artifact Creature – Myr
1/1
You can’t lose mana and opponents can’t win mana.

Pointy Stick
1
Artifact – Equipment
Dead weapon (This may be equipped from your graveyard.)
Equipped creature gets +1/+0.
Equip 2

Pure Myr
2
Artifact Creature – Myr
1/1
Pure Myr can’t have counters on it or have its types or subtypes or cost changed or have a power and toughness other than 1/1. Pure Myr can’t lose these abilities or gain more abilities.

Purity Ring
0
Artifact – Equipment
Equipped creature made a commitment to herself and to Sheoldred, and if you respect her you’ll wait.
Equip 0

Reachimator Web
4
Artifact
T: Target creature can block creatures with flying, can block as if it had flying, and gains reach until end of turn.

Real Boy
1
Creature – Human
1/1
Real Boy is white.
Whenever Real Boy lies, his nose becomes grotesque.

Sexy Clay
4
Artifact Creature
*/*
Sexy Clay enters the battlefield as your choice of a 4/2 Babe, a 3/3 Chick, or a 2/4 Honey.

Shrekhorn
1
Artifact
Shrekhorn enters the battlefield with three charge counters on it.
T, Remove a charge counter from Shrekhorn: Target creature becomes a green Ogre until end of turn.

Silverskin Armor 2.0
2
Artifact – Equipment
Equipped creature gets +1/+1 and is an artifact in addition to its other types. Equipped creature cannot have -1/-1 counters placed on it.
Equip 2

Space Station Myr
4
Legendary Artifact
Myr you control have flying and spacewalk.
If a Myr you control loses flying, destroy it.

Spaz Tick
3
Artifact Creature – Insect
1/3
Whenever another artifact enters the battlefield, if Spaz Tick is tapped, untap it. Otherwise, tap it.

Summer Orb
2
Artifact
Players can untap an additional land in their untap steps.

Sumo Suit
3
Artifact – Equipment
Equipped creature gets +4/+4.
Prevent all damage that would be dealt to and dealt by equipped creature.
Equip 3

Sunsteel Happystone
2
Artifact
Unforgettable (This can’t be sacrificed or discarded from your hand or put into your graveyard from your library.)
T: Add 1 to your mana pool. This mana may only be used for good.

Sword of Kobolds and Squires
3
Artifact – Equipment
Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from red and from white.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, high five.
Equip 2

Sword of Writer’s Block
3
Artifact – Equipment
Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and protection from two colors, whichever are funniest.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, something something, fill this in later.
Equip 2 (this is good)

The Myr Matrix
9
Artifact
This world isn’t real, you’re actually just a Myr being tapped for mana every turn.

Tower of Calamari
Artifact
4
8, T: Put fourteen 1/1 blue Squid creature tokens onto the battlefield.

Training Gear
3
Artifact – Equipment
Equipped creature can’t attack or block unless it’s equipped.
Equip 4

GOLD: [6/6]

Glissa the Embarrassed
BGG
Legendary Creature – Zombie Elf
3/3
Glissa is red and white and will just be over there reanimating Myr if that’s okay.

Helen, Mirran
2RW
Legendary Creature – Human Wizard
3/3
Stagecraft – Helen, Mirran is a respected actor who has won a Tolarian Academy Award, four STAG Awards, three Golden Urns, and two Karn’s Film Festival Best Actress Awards during her career.

Mirrodin Puree
1WUBRG
Creature – Cat Goblin Elf Vedalken Zombie Myr Ooze
*/*
Metalcraliferfect (This creature deals damage to three or more artifacts in the form of choosing any number of permanents and/or players with counters on them.)

Momyr Vig
3GU
Legendary Creature – Avatar
1/1
X, T: Put a random Myr with a converted mana cost of X onto the battlefield.

Platinum Frenetic Efreet
1UR
Artifact Creature – Efreet
2/1
Flying
0: Flip a coin. You win the flip and opponents lose the flip. Platinum Frenetic Efreet phases out.

Tezzeret, Customer Service Agent
3WB
Planewalker – Tezzeret
4
+1: Untap target artifact. Are you sure it’s untapped? Listen, just humor me and untap it again.
-1, Tap an uptapped Manager you control: Return target artifact to its owner’s hand. That player adds X mana to their mana pool, where X is that artifact’s mana cost.
-5: Search your library for Nicol Bolas, General Planeswalker and put it onto the battlefield. Play this ability only if you’ve activated all of Tezzeret, Customer Service Agent’s abilities at least once.

LAND: [2/2]

Kmoth Nexus
Land
T: Add 1 to your mana pool.
1: Kmoth Nexus becomes a 1/1 Blinkmoth artifact creature with flying and defender until end of turn. It’s still a land.

Mothra’s Workshop
Land
T: Add 3 to your mana pool. Spend this mana only to cast Insect spells.

BASIC LAND: [10/10]

Compiled by Energizer, Mindwarped, wcbarksdale, Fry Guy, Locus Cosecant, Spectre, Aeldaar, Rolling Potato, Osmo, Agentis, and Staff.

RENTON, Wash. — Wizards of the Coast is offering Magic: The Gathering fans a rare look at the behind-the-scenes workings of the early days of Magic with the release Monday of a rarely seen Homelands playtest letter.

The letter, which consists of recommendations by playtesters, was received by Richard Garfield and is cited as the primary reason for Homelands having the power level that it has.

(Precise date of letter unknown)

Richard:

We’ve finished playtesting Homelands; here are our comments. Hopefully they will help you whip this set into shape.

We liked Homelands a lot. Skaff was telling us about his Rock ‘n’ Roll set, and it was sounding pretty lame. We think you definitely made the right move by going with Homelands. A lot of the cards were overpowered, but hey, that just makes playtesting more fun. :-) It’s bad if a set is too weak or too strong, but we tested everything thoroughly, and tested our suggested changes, and we think we’ve found the sweet spot.

Individual card comments follow.

Abbey Matron – As is you could get infinite toughness if you had a way to target it repeatedly for free. Then you could sacrifice it to Diamond Valley for infinite life, or flip its P/T with Transmutation for infinite damage. That would be pretty hard to beat. We recommend taking out the trigger condition, and instead increasing toughness via a tap ability. It could instead be a simple Holy Armor-type thing, but requiring you to tap it makes it more interesting.

Ambush Party – We don’t think “no summoning sickness” needs to be keyworded. And since this has first strike, it doesn’t need a 3 toughness. Make it 3/1.

An-havva Constable – This is ridiculous. Keldon Warlord is 4 mana for a reason. Make this just count green creatures, and only for toughness. It can have a fixed power; say, 2. That would be about right for 1GG.

An-havva Township etc. – These “tri-lands” are strictly better than the Ice Age depletion lands, since you can tap them for colorless with no penalty, and get 3 colors instead of 2. That’s no good; players who bought depletion lands would be pissed. If you must have lands that make 3 colors of mana, they need a new penalty. We were thinking a cool one would be to have to pay 1 mana to get the middle color, and 2 mana to get the other colors. That way when you get the colors you want, you have less mana. It gives you an interesting decision.

Anaba Bodyguard – We were thinking it would be cool if one of the minotaurs – maybe this one – didn’t have the minotaur creature type. Then it’s like, do you put it in your minotaur theme deck or not? It creates tension.

Aysen Bureaucrats – Being able to tap any creature is way too good for a 2 mana 1/1. Icy costs 4! Change this so that it only taps small creatures – say, 2 power or less.

Aysen Highway – This is too easily splashed at 4WW. We recommend going to 3WWW.

Baron Sengir – He shouldn’t be a vampire himself. And he shouldn’t give all of your creatures the vampire ability – have you considered the Triskelion combo? Get rid of that, and add something like “T: Regenerate target vampire” instead, so that he’s really a vampire lord. And then, 4BB is way too cheap for a 5/5 flier. 5BBB would be about right.

Cemetery Gate – This is a perfectly fine wall for 3 mana. There’s no reason it has to be a cantrip.

Chandler – We recommend splitting this up into 2 cards – one that just destroys artifact creatures, and another that just destroys noncreature artifacts. Also upping the tap ability cost to RRR. It’s just that good.

Clockwork Steed etc. – The clockwork creatures should use +1/+0 counters instead of +1/+1 counters. That makes them symmetrical with Clockwork Beast and Clockwork Avian. They can have a fixed toughness – say, 3. Also there are too many cards with counters in this set – remember Fallen Empires? Take the counters off of Clockwork Gnomes; it can just be a 2/2. You could change the name, or not. Whatever.

Dwarven Miner – Nonbasic lands don’t really need to be hosed so badly. We would nix this card. The set needs more simple commons for new players; so maybe add a vanilla creature in its place. Dwarves aren’t just about mining; how about a Dwarven Trader?

Dwarven Pony – Why should a Pony deal damage to its controller? Are they vicious ponies? It doesn’t really make sense. Also, some of us think Savannah Lions is too strong; you don’t want another 2/1 for 1 mana running around. Bump the Pony down to a 1/1, and drop the penalty. Then give it an ability that makes sense with the name – it’s a Dwarven Pony, so it takes dwarves places. Like, it gives them mountainwalk. There you go.

Evaporate – How can an Elephant evaporate? It makes no sense. This should only hit blue creatures and maybe white ones. And then it’s like a color hoser, and so should do less damage. One damage is probably enough – it would still give Tim decks fits.

Folk of An-Havva – Chub Toad wasn’t that weak. This should be split up into 2 cards – one that just gets +2/+0 when blocking, and another that just gets +0/+2 when blocked. See, you want the power bonus when attacking, and the toughness bonus when blocking. But it’s vice versa. It makes the cards more interesting.

Funeral March – Making your opponent sacrifice a creature is a powerful effect, and too strong at 1B. We would up the cost to at least 1BB, and add some kind of penalty that makes the card hard to use. One possibility is, having to wait for a creature to die to make the card function. Try it out. If you like it, it might be a good basis for a keyword for a future expansion.

Giant Albatross – This was an utter wrecking ball in playtesting. It was unkillable, unstopable, and gave you almost no time to fight back before you were dead. Some of us refused to play against it almost immediately. We thought and thought, but couldn’t come up with a way to fix this. Nuke it. If there isn’t enough time to playtest a replacement card, then just swap in something that you’re absolutely sure sucks. Every set always has some crappy common or other; no-one will notice.

Greater Werewolf – Just because its name is Greater Werewolf, doesn’t mean it has to be bigger than Lesser Werewolf. We would lower this down to 2/4.

Irini Sengir – Having to sacrifice a permanent each turn is really annoying, and doesn’t even seem that powerful. This needs a completely different ability. With nasty new enchantments like Aysen Highway and Mammoth Harness running around, how about an anti-enchantment ability? We know black doesn’t normally get to hose enchantments, but we think it could be fair if it just hosed green and white ones – since those are its natural enemies. So maybe something like Gloom for green and white enchantments, only a little weaker, since you do get a 2/2 in the bargain.

Koskun Falls – First of all, this should be black. We realize that a waterfall suggests a blue card, but the whole “have to pay mana or can’t attack thing” is much more in line with how black plays than how blue does – it’s like Paralyze. Then, to prevent you from having multiples out, it should be an Enchant World. Even then it probably needs to cost a mana more, and have some other debilitating penalty. It’s just that annoying to play against.

Labyrinth Minotaur – We really like the minotaur theme deck you can build with Homelands, but don’t understand why you made this minotaur green. The “doesn’t untap next turn” ability seems very blue to us. So we recommend switching this one to blue.

Leeches – We don’t think white should get a creature called Leeches. That would be more of a black or green thing. White could get a sorcery called Leeches though. And then it shouldn’t just hose poison counters; it should also do damage to you when you use it. That’s what real Leeches would do.

Mammoth Harness – We wouldn’t keyword “last strike” – just spell it out in the text. And the casting cost is a joke, right? One mana? Green shouldn’t be able to deal with creatures so easily. This should cost 2GG or maybe 3G.

Merchant Scroll – This is a fun card, but we think it could be just slightly better. Instead of just fetching instants, why not, instants and interrupts?

Mindslaver – You would need to add like a page of rules just to handle this one card. Cut it. Put in another ante card instead, or maybe an expansion set hoser like Golgothian Sylex. Players need a way to deal with all of these powerful new cards.

Mirage – We like this card, but the name is bad. Isn’t Mirage being tossed around as a potential name for Bill’s Menagerie expansion? We understand that seeing the top card and then not getting to draw it is kind of like a mirage, but you can get that flavor with another name, and avoid the potential confusion of a card and expansion with the same name. How about Prophecy?

Mystic Decree – Making creatures lose all abilities is too confusing. How do you handle cards like Keldon Warlord, that set power and toughness via an ability? Instead, just pick a couple common abilities, and remove only those abilities. Flying is the most common ability, so obviously you make creatures lose that. Then, to make it a cute combo with Island Sanctuary, how about islandwalk?

Narwhal – Blue shouldn’t get 2/2s for UU, let alone ones with two abilities. We recommend upping the cost to 2UU.

Orcish Mine – Look, another nonbasics hoser. Two damage and destroying a land is way too good for 1RR. It needs a compensating penalty – say, a 3 turn delay. And then you can take out the “nonbasic” part.

Renewal – Drawing the card right away is a no-no. Ice Age cantrips delayed the card drawing until next upkeep for a reason: it prevents you from building an explosive deck that draws cards like mad. Don’t risk it; “next upkeep” all the way. Also, fetching any kind of land is bound to be broken; think of how easily you could get an Urzatron set! Make it basic lands only.

Reveka, Wizard Savant – We let Anaba Shaman slide, but really, blue is the color of pokers, not red. Even though the story has Reveka being a dwarf, we think you should change this to blue. Then, a poker that does 2 damage is just ridiculous. At least make it only work every other turn.

Serra Bestiary – This needs a compensating penalty. We recommend adding an upkeep cost of WW. That’s harsh enough that you can probably bump down the casting cost from 2W to WW.

Serra Inquisitor – We don’t think the Chub Toad ability should appear outside of green. Green got Giant Growth, it got Chub Toad – it’s green’s thing. This should just get +2/+0 or +0/+2, and even then it shouldn’t always get it. Maybe throw in “a when fighting a black creature” limitation, to sync it up with other cards in the set.

Serrated Arrows – This seems a bit strong, but we think the set needs a few chase cards, and this one is a reasonable choice.

Shrink – This should be green, since Giant Growth is. But green shouldn’t be able to kill creatures, so make it like -5/-0 instead of -3/-3. And then you can also bump the cost down to just G, to make it symmetrical with Giant Growth. Players adore symmetry; remember that.

Soraya the Falconer – This should boost Falcons, not Birds. Also Mesa Falcon should be a Falcon, not a Bird. This follows the precedent set by Zephyr Falcon. Otherwise you will have angry players wondering why Soraya the Falconer doesn’t work with their Zephyr Falcons. Similarly it wouldn’t make sense if the Falconer worked with an Albatross, so Giant Albatross should be an Albatross. It may seem niggling, but it’s little details like this that make the difference between a good set and a great set.

- Nov. 7, 2005

Here is a great casual deck idea. Relentless Rats gets bigger for each Relentless Rats in play. Produce swarms and swarms of them, and overrun your opponent!

Relentless Rats

1 Relentless Rats
4 Clone
4 Vesuvan Doppelganger
4 Dance of Many
4 Unstable Shapeshifter
4 Volrath’s Shapeshifter
4 Soul Foundry
4 Animate Dead
4 Necromancy
1 Skull of Orm
1 Haunted Crossroad
1 Volrath’s Stronghold
4 Underground Sea
4 Salt Marsh
10 Island
6 Swamp

– April 30, 2005

Magic players aren’t made of stone. They have needs, just like other men. And, while they aren’t known for being dreamy hunks, there are plenty of dorky girls out there, looking for the right dorky guy.

But when that magic moment comes, you want everything to go just right. Here then are some handy tips to get you started.

1. Don’t try to use card condoms as actual condoms. Trust us on this one.

2. Cut your nails. This will also help you avoid damaging your cards when riffle shuffling.

3. Don’t be too aggro, but don’t be too control either. That’s right. You want a combo approach.

4. Know your match-ups. What works with a redhead may not be so hot with the kind of girl who dyes her hair blue/green.

5. Keep track of your mistakes. Keep a six-sided die by the bed, starting at one, and every time you make a mistake, turn it to the next highest number. If it hits six, excuse yourself and take a cold shower. This will really help you learn to make less mistakes.

6. It’s important to maintain good tempo and apply pressure throughout the event.

7. You might not think a girl would like being “slow rolled,” but you’d be surprised. But try not to “raw dog” it.

8. There are no wrong threats. At least not if she’s into that kind of thing.

9. Don’t just randomly jump between things. If something is working well, you want to do it consistently, but not more than four times. That’s just one of the unwritten rules.

10. Try not to overextend.

11. You don’t want to call out the wrong girl’s name in the heat of passion. So write it down. It’s perfectly legal.

12. Above all, it’s important to stay informed, and read up on the latest techniques, or “tech.” Don’t trust amateurs; get all of your bedroom advice from reputable Web sites, like magiclampoon.com.

- May 13, 2005

CardName: Ajani Goldmane
Cost: 2WW
Type: Planeswalker – Ajani
Pow/Tgh: /4
Rules Text: +1: You gain 2 life. -1: Put a +1/+1 counter on each creature you control. Those creatures gain vigilance until end of turn. -6: Put a white Avatar creature token into play with “This creature’s power and toughness are each equal to your life total.”

I think it’s pretty lousy that they used up rare slots on promo cards for another game. The game does look kind of cool though. 

CardName: Arbiter of Knollridge
Cost: 6W
Type: Creature – Giant Wizard
Pow/Tgh: 5/5
Rules Text: Vigilance When Arbiter of Knollridge comes into play, each player’s life total becomes the highest life total among all players.

This is a great reanimate target. Picture this: turn 1 chrome mox removing a black card, swamp, putrid imp discarding this, reanimate. Bam! 5/5 without the reanimate life loss drawback! Also you get to feel good for having a giant wizard that’s still smaller than you.

CardName: Austere Command
Cost: 4WW
Type: Sorcery
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: Choose two – Destroy all artifacts; or destroy all enchantments; or destroy all creatures with converted mana cost 3 or less; or destroy all creatures with converted mana cost 4 or greater.

Just run Akroma’s Vengeance and choose four! Plus the secret fifth choice, draw a card and add 1WW to your mana pool.

CardName: Avian Changeling
Cost: 2W
Type: Creature – Shapeshifter
Pow/Tgh: 2/2
Rules Text: Changeling (This card is every creature type at all times.) Flying

This will be great if they ever make a shapeshifter lord, because it’s a shapeshifter twice.

CardName: Battle Mastery
Cost: 2W
Type: Enchantment – Aura
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: Enchant creature Enchanted creature has double strike.

Someone needs to tell Vulshok Battlemaster it’s supposed to have double strike. What a rip-off, thanks for nothing Wizards!

CardName: Cenn’s Heir
Cost: 1W
Type: Creature – Kithkin Soldier
Pow/Tgh: 1/1
Rules Text: Whenever Cenn’s Heir attacks, it gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each other attacking Kithkin.

Obviously broken together with Nacatl War-pride and Artificial Evolution. First pick!

CardName: Goldmeadow Dodger
Cost: W
Type: Creature – Kithkin Rogue
Pow/Tgh: 1/1
Rules Text: Goldmeadow Dodger can’t be blocked by creatures with power 4 or greater.

It is like, Wizards keeps saying they are trying to account for the inherent disadvantages of expensive creatures, and then they print cards like this. Come on guys. I am not going to want to play my dragons if they cannot keep this guy from killing me.

CardName: Goldmeadow Stalwart
Cost: W
Type: Creature – Kithkin Soldier
Pow/Tgh: 2/2
Rules Text: As an additional cost to play Goldmeadow Stalwart, reveal a Kithkin card from your hand or pay 3.

Obviously they’re gonna follow up the war mechanic in Lorwyn with a go fish mechanic in Morningtide. Then revealing a card will be bad, because they’ll know just what to guess. For now it’s okay though.

CardName: Kithkin Harbinger
Cost: 2W
Type: Creature – Kithkin Wizard
Pow/Tgh: 1/3
Rules Text: When Kithkin Harbinger comes into play, you may search your library for a Kithkin card, reveal it, then shuffle your library and put that card on top of it.

It’s a Wizard that doesn’t die to a cycled Slice and Dice, so it’s at least worth a look.

CardName: Knight of Meadowgrain
Cost: WW
Type: Creature – Kithkin Knight
Pow/Tgh: 2/2
Rules Text: First strike Lifelink (Whenever this creature deals damage, you gain that much life.)

This could be pretty sweet if your opponent is attacking with a Hill Giant, and you control Yawgmoth’s Bargain, and you’re at one life, and the two points of lifegain allow you to draw into a Last Gasp before the Hill Giant gets to assign combat damage. If all you have is Necropotence, though, you might be better off running Silver Knight.

CardName: Thoughtweft Trio
Cost: 2WW
Type: Creature – Kithkin Soldier
Pow/Tgh: 5/5
Rules Text: First strike, vigilance Champion a Kithkin (When this comes into play, sacrifice it unless you remove another Kithkin you control from the game. When this leaves play, that card returns to play.) Thoughtweft Trio can block any number of creatures.

For example, Thoughtweft Trio can block Benalish Knight. It can also block Gallowbraid, and Winding Wurm! These are just a few of the many creatures Thoughtweft Trio can block.

CardName: Veteran of the Depths
Cost: 3W
Type: Creature – Merfolk Soldier
Pow/Tgh: 2/2
Rules Text: Whenever Veteran of the Depths becomes tapped, you may put a +1/+1 counter on it.

It gets the bonus as soon as it becomes tapped, so it’s like a Hill Giant on the first attack. It doesn’t get the bonus if you try to block with it first, though, so instead of a Hill Giant, you should think of it as more of a Scavenging Scarab, or a Hulking Ogre, or a Spineless Thug that has a +1/+1 counter on it, or a Hill Giant that can’t block.

CardName: Wispmare
Cost: 2W
Type: Creature – Elemental
Pow/Tgh: 1/3
Rules Text: Flying When Wispmare comes into play, destroy target enchantment. Evoke W (You may play this spell for its evoke cost. If you do, it’s sacrificed when it comes into play.)

This has flying, but it doesn’t have reach. What could have been a good blocker is just a guy that gets through for 1. Also it has evoke. Evoke is like the stupidest keyword ever. If you just want to show your opponent that you drew Wispmare, just show it to them. You don’t have to pay a mana too.

CardName: Amoeboid Changeling
Cost: 1U
Type: Creature – Shapeshifter
Pow/Tgh: 1/1
Rules Text: Changeling (This card is every creature type at all times.) T Target creature gains all creature types until end of turn. T Target creature loses all creature types until end of turn.

seriously when i read this card i think this thing can see me

CardName: Aquitect’s Will
Cost: U
Type: Tribal Sorcery – Merfolk
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: Put a flood counter on target land. That land is an Island in addition to its other types as long as it has a flood counter on it. If you control a Merfolk, draw a card.

If you scratch out the “in addition to its other types” this is a pretty good hoser vs. the 5c elemental deck.

CardName: Captivating Glance
Cost: 2U
Type: Enchantment – Aura
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: Enchant creature At the end of your turn, clash with an opponent. If you win, gain control of enchanted creature. Otherwise, that player gains control of enchanted creature. (Each clashing player reveals the top card of his or her library, then puts that card on the top or bottom. A player wins if his or her card had a higher converted mana cost.)

Absolutely broken! It’s the cheapest steal spell there is, even if you might have to wait a few turns to make it work. When it does, though, you’ve just gotten your opponent’s best creature for three mana and there’s nothing they can do about it.

CardName: Cryptic Command
Cost: 1UUU
Type: Instant
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: Choose two – Counter target spell; or return target permanent to its owner’s hand; or tap all creatures your opponents control; or draw a card.

I don’t know why they bother listing four options, when you’re forced to pick the second one. This is just an overpriced Boomerang.

CardName: Ego Erasure
Cost: 2U
Type: Tribal Instant – Shapeshifter
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: Changeling (This card is every creature type at all times.) Creatures target player controls get -2/-0 and lose all creature types until end of turn.

Great against countermagic. You play this, then the spell you don’t want countered. They have to counter this instead, because it’s a Flagbearer.

CardName: Fallowsage
Cost: 3U
Type: Creature – Merfolk Wizard
Pow/Tgh: 2/2
Rules Text: Whenever Fallowsage becomes tapped, you may draw a card.

Great with Goldmeadow Harrier.

CardName: Fathom Trawl
Cost: 3UU
Type: Sorcery
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: Reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal three nonland cards. Put the nonland cards revealed this way into your hand, then put the rest of the revealed cards on the bottom of your library in any order.

Control decks should love this. You’ll almost always hit two lands before running into three spells, if not more, so this is at least five cards for five mana. Take that, Tidings!

CardName: Forced Fruition
Cost: 4UU
Type: Enchantment
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: Whenever an opponent plays a spell, that player draws seven cards.

This card is okay if you know the trick. You attack yourself with a 1/1, and then cast your spells in your second main phase.

CardName: Merrow Reejerey
Cost: 2U
Type: Creature – Merfolk Soldier
Pow/Tgh: 2/2
Rules Text: Other Merfolk creatures you control get +1/+1. Whenever you play a Merfolk spell, you may tap or untap target permanent.

Sure, it helps Merfolk creatures, and Merfolk spells, but when are we gonna get some love for Merfolk enchantments, artifacts, and lands? Not to mention Merfolk planeswalkers.

CardName: Paperfin Rascal
Cost: 2U
Type: Creature – Merfolk Rogue
Pow/Tgh: 2/2
Rules Text: When Paperfin Rascal comes into play, clash with an opponent. If you win, put a +1/+1 counter on Paperfin Rascal. (Each clashing player reveals the top card of his or her library, then puts that card on the top or bottom. A player wins if his or her card had a higher converted mana cost.)

Wizards has hopefully included “or her” in the clash rules in the hopes that more girls will start playing magic.

CardName: Ponder
Cost: U
Type: Sorcery
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: Look at the top three cards of your library, then put them back in any order. You may shuffle your library. Draw a card.

Merfolk in Lorwyn have a “tapping” theme, and the art for this is supposed to get you in the mood. An excellent tribal enabler, along with oysters, candlelight, and Elton John albums.

CardName: Protective Bubble
Cost: 3U
Type: Enchantment – Aura
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: Enchant creature Enchanted creature is unblockable and has shroud. (It can’t be the target of spells or abilities.)

This is unplayable as it stands, but I assume it will soon recieve errata something along the lines of “this effect doesn’t remove Protective Bubble”.

CardName: Silvergill Adept
Cost: 1U
Type: Creature – Merfolk Wizard
Pow/Tgh: 2/1
Rules Text: As an additional cost to play Silvergill Adept, reveal a Merfolk card from your hand or pay 3. When Silvergill Adept comes into play, draw a card.

Well, okay, but if I end up paying five for this guy and then drawing a Merfolk with his ability, my blood will be on your hands.

CardName: Stonybrook Angler
Cost: 1U
Type: Creature – Merfolk Wizard
Pow/Tgh: 1/2
Rules Text: 1U, T You may tap or untap target creature.

Why, thank you! I believe I shall tap or untap target creature, since you’re offering!

CardName: Whirlpool Whelm
Cost: 1U
Type: Instant
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: Clash with an opponent, then return target creature to its owner’s hand. If you win, you may put that creature on top of its owner’s library instead. (Each clashing player reveals the top card of his or her library, then puts that card on the top or bottom. A player wins if his or her card had a higher converted mana cost.)

The trick with this card is to target a creature with a low converted mana cost, then if you win the clash you have a better chance of winning the next time you clash this turn.

CardName: Boggart Harbinger
Cost: 2B
Type: Creature – Goblin Shaman
Pow/Tgh: 2/1
Rules Text: When Boggart Harbinger comes into play, you may search your library for a Goblin card, reveal it, then shuffle your library and put that card on top of it.

This is a great guy to go fetch with Goblin Recruiter.

CardName: Boggart Loggers
Cost: 2B
Type: Creature – Goblin Rogue
Pow/Tgh: 2/1
Rules Text: Forestwalk 2B, Sacrifice Boggart Loggers: Destroy target Treefolk or Forest.

Notice the inherent antisynergy of this card, considering how lorwyn limited decks are all about synergy I don’t see how this can ever make the cut. 0/5

CardName: Cairn Wanderer
Cost: 4B
Type: Creature – Shapeshifter
Pow/Tgh: 4/4
Rules Text: Changeling (This card is every creature type at all times.) As long as a creature card with flying is in a graveyard, Cairn Wanderer has flying. The same is true for fear, first strike, double strike, deathtouch, haste, landwalk, lifelink, protection, reach, trample, shroud, and vigilance.

Would this card really have been too powerful if it had just had all these abilities from the get-go? I don’t think so, as is, it’s a black Durkwood Boars, nothing to be excited about.

CardName: Exiled Boggart
Cost: 1B
Type: Creature – Goblin Rogue
Pow/Tgh: 2/2
Rules Text: When Exiled Boggart is put into a graveyard from play, discard a card.

More like exiled from my deck boggart! More like exiled from the list of cards anyone would consider playing ever boggart! More like exiled from my sealed pool and replaced with a Briarhorn but don’t tell anyone boggart!

CardName: Facevaulter
Cost: B
Type: Creature – Goblin Warrior
Pow/Tgh: 1/1
Rules Text: B, Sacrifice a Goblin: Facevaulter gets +2/+2 until end of turn.

Note how Facevaulter is a goblin itself, so you can sacrifice it to its own ability to make it trade with a 3/3, first pick material

CardName: Faerie Tauntings
Cost: 2B
Type: Tribal Enchantment – Faerie
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: Whenever you play a spell during an opponent’s turn, you may have each opponent lose 1 life.

By changing it from a creature to an enchantment, upping the mana cost from B to 2B and slightly changing the ability Wizards tries to fool us into thinking it’s not a Disciple of the Vault. Expect to see these tearing up the Pro Tour.

CardName: Hunter of Eyeblights
Cost: 3BB
Type: Creature – Elf Assassin
Pow/Tgh: 3/3
Rules Text: When Hunter of Eyeblights comes into play, put a +1/+1 counter on target creature you don’t control. 2B, T Destroy target creature with a counter on it.

Try this card with the “hunted creatures” from Ravnica, and Brand.

CardName: Makeshift Mannequin
Cost: 3B
Type: Instant
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: Return target creature card from your graveyard to play with a mannequin counter on it. As long as that creature has a mannequin counter on it, it has “When this creature becomes the target of a spell or ability, sacrifice it.”

Broken with Power Conduit.

CardName: Mournwhelk
Cost: 6B
Type: Creature – Elemental
Pow/Tgh: 3/3
Rules Text: When Mournwhelk comes into play, target player discards two cards. Evoke 3B (You may play this spell for its evoke cost. If you do, it’s sacrificed when it comes into play.)

Somebody call me?

CardName: Nameless Inversion
Cost: 1B
Type: Tribal Instant – Shapeshifter
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: Changeling (This card is every creature type at all times.) Target creature gets +3/-3 and loses all creature types until end of turn.

In the best case, targeting a Changeling when your opponent controls 4 Wizened Cenns, 4 Merrow Reejereyes, 4 Sunrise Sovereigns, 4 Imperious Perfects, 4 Timber Protectors, 4 Mad Aunties, 4 Scions of Oona, and 4 Incandescent Soulstokes, this is -33/-39 for just two mana!

Also it’s a surefire way to deal with Meddling Mage.

CardName: Oona’s Prowler
Cost: 1B
Type: Creature – Faerie Rogue
Pow/Tgh: 3/1
Rules Text: Flying Discard a card: Oona’s Prowler gets -2/-0 until end of turn. Any player may play this ability.

One word: Mindslaver.

CardName: Prowess of the Fair
Cost: 1B
Type: Tribal Enchantment – Elf
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: Whenever another nontoken Elf is put into your graveyard from play, you may put a 1/1 green Elf Warrior creature token into play.

The combo is Conspiracy, naming nontoken. Add Goblin Bombardment (I know it says Goblin, but technically it works) and you’ve got infinite damage.

CardName: Thoughtseize
Cost: B
Type: Sorcery
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: Target player reveals his or her hand. You choose a nonland card from it. That player discards that card. You lose 2 life.

I’d probably like this card more if instead of choosing a nonland card you’d get to pick a creature card, and instead of from hand you’d choose one from a graveyard and instead of discarding it you put it into play. And you’d lose life equal to that creatures converted mana cost.

CardName: Weed Strangle
Cost: 3BB
Type: Sorcery
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: Destroy target creature. Clash with an opponent. If you win, you gain life equal to that creature’s toughness. (Each clashing player reveals the top card of his or her library, then puts that card on the top or bottom. A player wins if his or her card had a higher converted mana cost.)

Dude. Dude! You totally have to play this. It’s, like, a total bomb! Tee hee, I said bomb.

CardName: Ashling’s Prerogative
Cost: 1R
Type: Enchantment
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: As Ashling’s Prerogative comes into play, choose odd or even. (Zero is even.) Each creature with converted mana cost of the chosen value has haste. Each creature without converted mana cost of the chosen value comes into play tapped.

The trick with this card is to play Force Spike when your opponent plays creatures with converted mana cost equal to the chosen value, then if he pays their converted mana cost is no longer the chosen value and they come into play tapped.

CardName: Adder-Staff Boggart
Cost: 1R
Type: Creature – Goblin Warrior
Pow/Tgh: 2/1
Rules Text: When Adder-Staff Boggart comes into play, clash with an opponent. If you win, put a +1/+1 counter on Adder-Staff Boggart. (Each clashing player reveals the top card of his or her library, then puts that card on the top or bottom. A player wins if his or her card had a higher converted mana cost.)

This is basically the cheapest you-win card ever. A shoe-in for Draco-Explosion decks. Get Draco on top, clash, win. It’s one mana cheaper than Erratic Explosion, and doesn’t ever just leave them at 4.

CardName: Consuming Bonfire
Cost: 3RR
Type: Tribal Sorcery – Elemental
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: Choose one – Consuming Bonfire deals 4 damage to target non-Elemental creature; or Consuming Bonfire deals 7 damage to target Treefolk creature.

The best plot twist of any mechanic in lorwyn. It leads you to believe you won’t be able to hit changelings for 4, only to shock you with the revelation that you can actually hit them for 7.

CardName: Flamekin Brawler
Cost: R
Type: Creature – Elemental Warrior
Pow/Tgh: 0/2
Rules Text: R: Flamekin Brawler gets +1/+0 until end of turn.

Ten or so years ago, when I was first getting into Magic, I had an issue of Inquest where they suggested the gamebreaking combo of enchanting a Phyrexian Walker with Firebreathing. It’s too bad Inquest didn’t live to see this card. :-(

CardName: Heat Shimmer
Cost: 2R
Type: Sorcery
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: Put a token into play that’s a copy of target creature. It has haste and “At end of turn, remove this permanent from the game.”

If you’re running R/G, keep in mind: if you slap a Lignify on the token, you get to keep it.

CardName: Hostility
Cost: 3RRR
Type: Creature – Elemental Incarnation
Pow/Tgh: 6/6
Rules Text: Haste If a spell you control would deal damage to an opponent, prevent that damage. Put a 3/1 red Elemental Shaman creature token with haste into play for each 1 damage prevented this way. When Hostility is put into a graveyard from anywhere, shuffle it into its owner’s library.

Sadly this card is a turkey.

CardName: Incendiary Command
Cost: 3RR
Type: Sorcery
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: Choose two – Incendiary Command deals 4 damage to target player; or Incendiary Command deals 2 damage to each creature; or destroy target nonbasic land; or each player discards all the cards in his or her hand, then draws that many cards.

The Ravnica duals are rotating out, so you might have trouble finding a non-basic land to target, but the proliferation of creatures, players, and hands should help keep this from being a dead card.

Ingot Chewer
4R
Creature – Elemental
3/3
When Ingot Chewer comes into play, destroy target artifact.
Evoke {R} (You may play this spell for its evoke cost. If you do, it’s sacrificed when it comes into play.)

Can’t actually destroy ingots. 0/5

CardName: Lash Out
Cost: 1R
Type: Instant
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: Lash Out deals 3 damage to target creature. Clash with an opponent. If you win, Lash Out deals 3 damage to that creature’s controller. (Each clashing player reveals the top card of his or her library, then puts that card on the top or bottom. A player wins if his or her card had a higher converted mana cost.)

It’s strictly worse than blazing salvo. you either care about hitting the creature OR the player– the tradeoff for the reduced damage just isn’t worth it.

CardName: Nova Chaser
Cost: 3R
Type: Creature – Elemental Warrior
Pow/Tgh: 10/2
Rules Text: Trample Champion an Elemental (When this comes into play, sacrifice it unless you remove another Elemental you control from the game. When this leaves play, that card returns to play.)

How do you chase a nova? Doesn’t it just come to you? And if you do have to chase it, shouldn’t you at least have haste? Anyway as a 10/2 trampler this is an obvious combo with Illusionary Mask. It’s Dreadnoughts numbers 5-8.

CardName: Tar Pitcher
Cost: 3R
Type: Creature – Goblin Shaman
Pow/Tgh: 2/2
Rules Text: T, Sacrifice a Goblin: Tar Pitcher deals 2 damage to target creature or player.

Would this have really been too powerful if it hadn’t required the sacrifice? And if it were a changeling? And if it had flash? And if it cost U? And if it drew you three cards when it came into play?

CardName: Tarfire
Cost: R
Type: Tribal Instant – Goblin
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: Tarfire deals 2 damage to target creature or player.

An interesting twist on the original tribal block’s “reprint Shock” concept.

CardName: Changeling Titan
Cost: 4G
Type: Creature – Shapeshifter
Pow/Tgh: 7/7
Rules Text: Changeling (This card is every creature type at all times.) Champion a creature (When this comes into play, sacrifice it unless you remove another creature you control from the game. When this leaves play, that card returns to play.)

This looks good until you realize it’s a wall.

CardName: Cloudthresher
Cost: 2GGGG
Type: Creature – Elemental
Pow/Tgh: 7/7
Rules Text: Flash Reach (This can block creatures with flying.) When Cloudthresher comes into play, it deals 2 damage to each creature with flying and each player. Evoke 2GG (You may play this spell for its evoke cost. If you do, it’s sacrificed when it comes into play.)

Not that exciting in limited, where people will assume you’re holding mana up for a Neck Snap and won’t attack into it. Better in constructed, where they’ll assume you have a Teferi and attack into it with a 4/4.

CardName: Elvish Branchbender
Cost: 2G
Type: Creature – Elf Druid
Pow/Tgh: 2/2
Rules Text: T Until end of turn, target Forest becomes an X/X Treefolk creature in addition to its other types, where X is the number of Elves you control.

If you hit this guy with a Nameless Inversion in response to his ability, you can make their Forest a 0/0 and put it into the graveyard as a state-based effect. Something to keep in mind!

CardName: Elvish Eulogist
Cost: G
Type: Creature – Elf Shaman
Pow/Tgh: 1/1
Rules Text: Sacrifice Elvish Eulogist: You gain 1 life for each Elf card in your graveyard.

Okay, so a eulogist, that’s somebody who like gives a speech at a funeral. But this guy, he gives the speech, it kills him. Then you need another funeral for that guy, so it loops. You need a funeral where no-one says anything to break out of it. Well I guess they just don’t work that hard on the flavor for 1/1s.

CardName: Elvish Handservant
Cost: G
Type: Creature – Elf Warrior
Pow/Tgh: 1/1
Rules Text: Whenever a player plays a Giant spell, you may put a +1/+1 counter on Elvish Handservant.

You can make a great casual deck with this, with Giant Growth, Giant Solifuge, Giant Spider, etc.

CardName: Garruk Wildspeaker
Cost: 2GG
Type: Planeswalker – Garruk
Pow/Tgh: /3
Rules Text: +1: Untap two target lands. -1: Put a 3/3 green Beast creature token into play. -4: Creatures you control get +3/+3 and gain trample until end of turn.

I love the subtypes thing they did with the planeswalkers. It leaves the door open for stuff like “All Garruks get +1/+1 and forestwalk” or “Target Jace becomes a Liliana until end of turn.”

CardName: Hunt Down
Cost: G
Type: Sorcery
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: Target creature blocks target creature this turn if able.

Creatures can’t block themselves, so this is another dud.

CardName: Imperious Perfect
Cost: 2G
Type: Creature – Elf Warrior
Pow/Tgh: 2/2
Rules Text: Other Elf creatures you control get +1/+1.
G, T Put a 1/1 green Elf Warrior creature token into play.

This would be a lot better if the abilities synergized, but unfortunately it does not say it gives the bonus to Elf Warriors.

CardName: Kithkin Mourncaller
Cost: 2G
Type: Creature – Kithkin Scout
Pow/Tgh: 2/2
Rules Text: Whenever an attacking Kithkin or Elf is put into your graveyard from play, you may draw a card.

MOURRRRRRRRN? MOURRRRRRRRRRN?

CardName: Lace with Moonglove
Cost: 2G
Type: Instant
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: Target creature gains deathtouch until end of turn. (Whenever it deals damage to a creature, destroy that creature.) Draw a card.

Laces are basically useless without the lace / blast combo. Look for Lifetouch Elemental Blast in Morningtide.

CardName: Leaf Gilder
Cost: 1G
Type: Creature – Elf Druid
Pow/Tgh: 2/1
Rules Text: T Add G to your mana pool.

In the mtgsal spoiler they had this as Leaf Glider. I thought it would at least have reach, or maybe you could pay to give it flying. It would glide on leaves. But no, it’s Leaf Gilder. I don’t even know what that means.

CardName: Lignify
Cost: 1G
Type: Tribal Enchantment – Treefolk Aura
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: Enchant creature Enchanted creature is a 0/4 Treefolk with no abilities.

What if it isn’t? You know? What if enchanted creature is a 3/3 giant that can like give goblins flying or something. Then this is just wrong. And it’s probably wrong – I can’t think of a 0/4 treefolk to put it on. And even if it’s on a treefolk, it doesn’t do anything. This is like the worst -ify spell ever.

CardName: Nath’s Elite
Cost: 4G
Type: Creature – Elf Warrior
Pow/Tgh: 4/2
Rules Text: All creatures able to block Nath’s Elite do so. When Nath’s Elite comes into play, clash with an opponent. If you win, put a +1/+1 counter on Nath’s Elite. (Each clashing player reveals the top card of his or her library, then puts that card on the top or bottom. A player wins if his or her card had a higher converted mana cost.)

Remember you have to attack with this by itself. Otherwise your opponent’s creatures will block something else that attacked, and then they won’t be able to block Nath’s Elite.

CardName: Oakgnarl Warrior
Cost: 5GG
Type: Creature – Treefolk Warrior
Pow/Tgh: 5/7
Rules Text: Vigilance, trample

I dunno about this guy. I mean, I liked Guardian of Vitu-Ghazi okay, but Guardian of Vitu-Ghazi had an ability ending in -voke!

CardName: Primal Command
Cost: 3GG
Type: Sorcery
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: Choose two – Target player gains 7 life; or put target noncreature permanent on top of its owner’s library; or target player shuffles his or her graveyard into his or her library; or search your library for a creature card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle your library.

This is good with clash cards. You pick the graveyard shuffling option and whatever else. Their library is face down, but their graveyard is face up, so when they shuffle them together, you’ll be able to see all of the graveyard cards coming. When there’s a low-cost one, you play your clash spell.

CardName: Rootgrapple
Cost: 4G
Type: Tribal Instant – Treefolk
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: Destroy target noncreature permanent. If you control a Treefolk, draw a card.

These spells are all better than they look. If you control a Treefolk, you draw a card. But you always control a Treefolk – you control the Rootgrapple, and it’s a Treefolk. Solid instant cantrip Creeping Mold.

CardName: Timber Protector
Cost: 4G
Type: Creature – Treefolk Warrior
Pow/Tgh: 4/6
Rules Text: Other Treefolk creatures you control get +1/+1. Other Treefolk and Forests you control are indestructible.

WOW. I mean just look at this card. It makes all of your 5-mana 3/5 guys into 4/6s. And if somehow one of them takes 6 damage, gotcha, it’s indestructible! On top of that, it’s a 5-mana answer to land destruction for mono-green decks.

CardName: Treefolk Harbinger
Cost: G
Type: Creature – Treefolk Druid
Pow/Tgh: 0/3
Rules Text: When Treefolk Harbinger comes into play, you may search your library for a Treefolk or Forest card, reveal it, then shuffle your library and put that card on top of it.

Best Phyrexian Walker since they reprinted Wall of Wood in 10th.

CardName: Vigor
Cost: 3GGG
Type: Creature – Elemental Incarnation
Pow/Tgh: 6/6
Rules Text: Trample If damage would be dealt to a creature you control other than Vigor, prevent that damage. Put a +1/+1 counter on that creature for each 1 damage prevented this way. When Vigor is put into a graveyard from anywhere, shuffle it into its owner’s library.

You can win games easy with this, but it’s cheesy. The hard part is, you have to get your opponent to loan you a Vigor. If they do it, drop it into their graveyard at the start of a game. They have to shuffle it into their library, and then they have an illegal deck.

CardName: Woodland Changeling
Cost: 1G
Type: Creature – Shapeshifter
Pow/Tgh: 2/2
Rules Text: Changeling (This card is every creature type at all times.)

Man, Magic babe art has really gone downhill.

CardName: Wren’s Run Vanquisher
Cost: 1G
Type: Creature – Elf Warrior
Pow/Tgh: 3/3
Rules Text: As an additional cost to play Wren’s Run Vanquisher, reveal an Elf card from your hand or pay 3. Deathtouch (Whenever this creature deals damage to a creature, destroy that creature.)

The new Watchwolf. I quit Magic when they printed the old Watchwolf, so I guess now’s the time for me to take it back up again.

CardName: Doran, the Siege Tower
Cost: BGW
Type: Legendary Creature – Treefolk Shaman
Pow/Tgh: 0/5
Rules Text: Each creature assigns combat damage equal to its toughness rather than its power.

I guess in Morningtide they’ll make a card with “each creature deals combat damage equal to its toughness,” and then they’ll be an awesome combo. As is, hey, assign all you want pal, this deals 0. Also you have to avoid playing with tramplers, and try not to get double-blocked. The creature assigns the damage, not you, and probably it won’t put it where you want it.

CardName: Gaddock Teeg
Cost: GW
Type: Legendary Creature – Kithkin Advisor
Pow/Tgh: 2/2
Rules Text: Noncreature spells with converted mana cost 4 or greater can’t be played. Noncreature spells with X in their mana costs can’t be played.

FINALLY a card to hose those annoying stream of life decks you always lose to.

CardName: Springleaf Drum
Cost: 1
Type: Artifact
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: T, Tap an untapped creature you control: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool.

This is great with Llanowar Elves because it lets you filter the color of mana.

CardName: Twinning Glass
Cost: 4
Type: Artifact
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: 1, T You may play a nonland card from your hand without paying its mana cost if it has the same name as a spell that was played this turn.

Ug, this is one of those card that looks good until you read the last part of it. It would have been so much better if the card just needed to have the same name as a card played in any turn of any game.

CardName: Ancient Amphitheater
Cost:
Type: Land
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: As Ancient Amphitheater comes into play, you may reveal a Giant card from your hand. If you don’t, Ancient Amphitheater comes into play tapped. T Add R or W to your mana pool.

Best of the rare dual lands. Giants cost a lot of mana, so you can’t play them, so they’re in your hand, so you can reveal them! And then at least you got to show off your super-awesome godly mega-card before you got run over.

CardName: Auntie’s Hovel
Cost:
Type: Land
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: As Auntie’s Hovel comes into play, you may reveal a Goblin card from your hand. If you don’t, Auntie’s Hovel comes into play tapped. T Add B or R to your mana pool.

Polar opposite of the Giant land. If you’re running a Goblin deck, you should have already won the game by the time you would be worrying about playing a land.

CardName: Gilt-Leaf Palace
Cost:
Type: Land
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: As Gilt-Leaf Palace comes into play, you may reveal an Elf card from your hand. If you don’t, Gilt-Leaf Palace comes into play tapped. T Add B or G to your mana pool.

The drawback on this one is particularly harsh, because it amounts to admitting you’re running Elves.

CardName: Howltooth Hollow
Cost:
Type: Land
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: Hideaway (This land comes into play tapped. When it does, look at the top four cards of your library, remove one from the game face down, then put the rest on the bottom of your library.) T Add B to your mana pool. B, T You may play the removed card without paying its mana cost if each player has no cards in hand.

Instead of hiding the best card under here and never getting to play it, you can use this land to hide the worst card and you’ll never draw it! If you’re lucky, you might even see another one of these to remove from the game when you play it!

CardName: Secluded Glen
Cost:
Type: Land
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: As Secluded Glen comes into play, you may reveal a Faerie card from your hand. If you don’t, Secluded Glen comes into play tapped. T Add U or B to your mana pool.

A lot of faeries have flash, so remember not to get overexcited and play your last faerie while this guy’s ability is still on the stack. That would be embarassing.

CardName: Vivid Marsh
Cost:
Type: Land
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: Vivid Marsh comes into play tapped with two charge counters on it. T Add B to your mana pool. T, Remove a charge counter from Vivid Marsh: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool.

If I am playing this card, it stands to reason I am playing black, so what is the point of the second ability? I am just going to pick black with it. I guess you are supposed to play it in a Power Conduit deck.

CardName: Wanderwine Hub
Cost:
Type: Land
Pow/Tgh: /
Rules Text: As Wanderwine Hub comes into play, you may reveal a Merfolk card from your hand. If you don’t, Wanderwine Hub comes into play tapped. T Add W or U to your mana pool.

Of course, if you’re running Merfolk, you probably have a million ways to untap this guy, so hey! Don’t sweat it.

Locus Cosecant, Aziraphale, The Previous Poster, Ridiculous Hat, Belarron, Satsuki, Suenteus Po, vandermonde, and Chlorophant contributed to this report.

RENTON, Wash. — Wizards of the Coast announced Sunday evening that even more errata will accompany the release of the forthcoming set, Lorwyn.

In addition to the Fail keyword announced last week, numerous cards will receive “Tribal errata” to make them function more the way players expect.

“From now on, Goblin Bombardment will be a Goblin,” said Wizards of the Coast spokeswoman Tina Gaffney.

“Wizards’ School will be a Wizard, Aspect of Wolf will be a Wolf and Mirror Universe will be a Reflection,” she said.

“It should go without saying that Chatter of the Squirrel is a Sorcery - Squirrel,” she added.

Still more errata will simplify matters for new players in other ways.

“Cathedral of Serra will be a Serra’s, and Aladdin’s Ring will be an Aladdin’s,” Gaffney said.

“Also, Black Vise is now black, The Rack is now legendary and Planar Overlay is now a World Sorcery,” she said.

“I mean, look at the picture,” she said.

Magic Lampoon correspondent Energizer contributed to this report.